Tag Archives: Child

Brave…the movie

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While I was in the Hospital after my  prophylactic mastectomy, Frank and the girls went to the movies to see Disney’s Brave.  I remember when they got to the hospital the girls hugging me and telling me that they all cried at the movie. I was not too aware of the plot.  The girls told me that they thought of me when the princess almost lost her mommy which is why they cried.  Frank compared me to the momma bear.  I was intrigued  but I was still on the pain pump so details of any conversation from that time period are a bit hazy but it stuck with me for several reasons.  One because I was happy that they were out doing things together.  Another because whatever had struck them about the movie caused them to talk which is something that the girls did not often do with their father.  This movie was an important bonding time for the three of them that has continued nicely to this day.

Since the movie was important to them, especially to Madison, I wanted receiving it to be just as important.  For Christmas, 120530_XX_MeridaBraveEX.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-largeMadi received the DVD and a play set that included both Princess Merida and Angus (her horse).  She was very excited!  Usually when we get a new movie there is a big rush for the girls to watch it but not this time.  The three of them agreed that we all needed to watch it together.

So today was the day.  I made hot chocolate for the girls and I and the four of us settled in for movie time.  The girls even took turns sitting on my lap, which is not normal nor it is easy these days with their sizes.

The movie was very good!  There were no tears this time but I understand imageswhy there were the first time.  In the movie due to decisions made by the princess, the queen is turned into a bear and unless the bond that was broken can be repaired, the spell will not be able to be reversed and her mother will be lost forever.  She needs to be Brave to save her mother and protect her from hunters while trying to reverse the spell.  Even in her darkest day with hunters upon her, the momma bear still protects the princess fully knowing that she is in the situation because of her daughter. My baby girls explained that when they saw it while I was in the hospital, they thought of me as the Brave momma bear who they would never want to lose and that they needed to protect me.  Pretty cool!

As I have stated many times throughout the process, the babies who I was so worried about somewhere right in front of my eyes grew into beautiful, caring young girls.  I am so proud of them both!

And as a movie review, I would give Brave 2 thumbs up!  A great family movies that can spark even better life lesson conversations!

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From the mouths of babes…

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Yesterday was like any other.  Get the kids up and ready for school.  Bus stops followed by normal daily function.  In the blink of an eye it was time back to head back to the bus stop for Madison.  That is when it all changed.

Madi is my active, hyper even crazy at times child.  Since Kindergarten is only half day she gets home bouncing off the walls.  So when she got home yesterday we had some lunch and discussed her day.  She does so enjoy school.  After lunch she decided it was time to dance.  Around the living room she flew laughing as if performing for an adoring crowd.  That is until she lost her balance and landed with her mouth into the back of a wooden chair.

I heard the impact and jumped.  I was next to her just as the shock turned to screaming and tears.  I pulled her with me to the freezer and got ice then noticed the blood.  She was in a total panic.  I got her mouth washed out and finally calmed her so I could inspect the damage.  Thankfully, my toothless little cherub just lost her two top teeth.  That was actually where the blood was coming from and I am sure that if the teeth had been there they would have been broken or knocked out.  He lip is purple and a size larger than normal but all in all not as bad as I initially thought.

From there it just continued, a trip over the dog landing her on her belly followed by landing a bit too hard on a bean bag chair and banging her head on the wall.

By 8:30 my baby,  looking tattered and a little bruised, looked at me with a shutter in her voice and asked “can I go to bed now?  It has been a bad day.” Tears followed as did a big hug and off to bed we went.  I think the poor kid passed out as she hit the pillow.

This morning started off well…the bus will be home shortly.  We can only hope this is a better day!

Life changing experiences

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So I ended my last post with the following question: Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?  What a buzz that started! :-) .  In hindsight could have worded it better, it is not any type of breaking news.  Was intended to only be a lead in to the next piece of the story.

After growing up swearing I would never have children, I am so happy that my mind was changed.  I love being mommy.  It took a little while to get used to the fact that I did not leave my house to go to work. I state it that way because as a stay at home mom, it is work.  It is amazing how some people do not feel that to be true.  How many times over the years I have been asked when I was going to get a “real job” or go “back to work”.  I am blessed to be in a financial position to be able to stay home with my children.  Things could of course be easier if I were also bringing in a pay check but this is a decision that my husband and I made together for the best of our family.  It is not a decision that is right for everyone nor would I ever judge another for the decisions made for their family.  I guess that is why is angers me so when that judgement is made about me.

Late in 2009 we decided to add to the clan.  The world needed another Bailey!  I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I went to the OB for the first visit.  I was sent for an ultrasound a few days later.  During the ultrasound visit the tech informed me that my dates must be wrong.  According to measurements the baby  was only 5 weeks.  I was very sure about the dates!  I was moved to another room to meet with a doctor.  They put me on progesterone in an attempt to prevent a miscarriage.  I was to return in 2 days for blood work.

I returned and had a small, very small improvement in the blood counts.  Within a day I started to have cramping and some bleeding.  I called the doctor and got an immediate appointment.  Before I could even get there , I had a miscarriage.  To make it worse, my Madison was with me, scared, crying.  My heart was broken but the baby in front of me had to take priority.  I calmed her and we went to the doctor.  All they could do was offer support, a shoulder to cry on.  Over the next roughly 10 days I had to return every 2 days for blood work.  Of course my body could not complete the job and I had to be scheduled for a D&C.

Sad does not fully cover the feeling.  Life goes on, I had two beautiful girls who needed me. I never fully grieved, that is not who I am.  I was very sad, but it was my responsibility to get up and move on.  Once a little time passed we figured we would try again.  I really always believed we would have another child that is until June 2011.

For those who have followed the blog a while, you know that was when it all began.  I found a lump in March 2011 and by June had received the news that although not cancer, an “Irregularity” and the 50-50 breast cancer chance.  Decisions, life is full of decisions.  I so wanted another child, but what I want more was to live to see the 2 that I had grow and thrive.  I had the Mastectomy 7/2/2012.

Could I have a child now?  Sure physically I could.  In a few weeks I will be 41 years old, my husband is 43.  My body is not fully recovered from the mastectomy, DIEP surgery, and  breast reconstruction. Do I want to be 60 packing my child up for college?  And after everything I have been through to put my body through that?

I just don’t have it in me.  I have two beautiful, smart and thankfully healthy girls that I love with all of my heart.  Things happen for a reason I am told.  I love my family!

 

Doctor’s and Kindergarten

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SO I had my follow-up this morning.  Pretty uneventful visit actually.  He agreed that one boob was looking more north than the other but says it could take up to 3 months for healing and that they should align properly.  He also feels the nipples will shrink down to a normal size.  At the moment I feel like they arrive in a room at least a minute before I do.  He told me to make another follow-up in 6 weeks.  At that point if they are still uneven then he can make a small incision to lift the left boob.  He can also reduce the size of the questionable nipple.  I wanted more detail on what this would look like, in office?  Hospital?  He did not want to discuss it.  Says we need to give it time to heal and let my body do it’s thing.  If all works out we will not need to do anything.  We shall see.

I was cleared to shower…YEAH!  So much easier than washing my hair in the sink.  I am also allowed to start wearing a bra, no under wire.  We will discuss the bra on another post.

After the doctor I came home and picked up Madison for a big day!  Meet the teacher at the Kindergarten.  I was so proud of her!  She did great!  As we walked toward her building she told me to follow her.  She showed me how to follow the red foot prints to get to the right building.  They had a bus parked in the lot so the kids could go on and practice with the seat belts.  Then we went into her classroom.  She looked around and found her seat and sat so confidently.  My baby, what a big girl!  They had an opportunity to explore, listened to a story read by the teacher and met some other kids from the class.

I love that our district does this.  Really allows the kids to get comfortable with the process.  She told me that she wanted to be in bed early so she could be ready for school.  She was asleep by 8pm…love it!  I am the mother of a 3rd grader and a Kindergartener, where does the time go?

Motherhood

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The worst thing about just sitting around with nothing but time are the thoughts that just continue to swirl through my head.  I have mentioned my mother several times in this blog. Although I loved her very much, I have tried to be a very different mother to my children than she was to us. She was a single parent from the time that I was a baby. I know it was not easy for her.

Growing up I don’t really ever remember hearing  the words “I love you”.  I know that she loved me  and I loved her.  But it is nice to hear the words right?  I remember when Megan was born.  I was so thrilled.  See I was a career girl and was never going to have children, that is until I had Megan and resigned from my career :-) .  I could not have loved her anymore.  I just loved to hold her, hug her and kiss her.  I used to just sit and kiss her head…even told her tiny little body that there would be a million kisses up there by the time she was one. I also made her a promise that a day would not pass when I would not tell her how much I loved her!  The same held true when Madison was born and as they have both gotten a little older I encourage them to talk to us and ask questions.  This is often very interesting as other also find.  Out of the blue whatever is on Madison’s mind comes out…sometimes a little awkward but the only way to learn.

By no means am I a push over quit the countrary I am actually very strict. But  I do not want my girls to be afraid of anything and I do not want them to ever feel that they missed out!

Happy Mothers Day!

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Why Women Cry

Author: Unknown

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”

God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.”