I spent the day in Madison’s Kindergarten class today. I only have one more left before the end of the year. That thought made me very sad. Adding to my “blues” was the permission slip to go on the elementary bus trip which I was presented with yesterday.
Our district is rather large. Our Kindergarten is half day split sessions in its own building. They then split up into 6 elementary school followed by 3 middle school and finally a high school that is over 1/4 of a mile long. Moving from one phase of school to another can be a bit overwhelming for the kids. Our district does a nice job in making that transition as easy as possible. Heading into Kindergarten, Madison and I took a bus trip and tour of the school. Now, heading to elementary school the kids will all go to school in two weeks and then board busses for the elementary they will attend next year. They will tour the school, meet some teachers and have snack in the cafeteria.
Madison is so excited, I am excited for her, proud of her and so sad all at the same time. With Megan heading into fourth grade, and Madi to first, it is more clear than ever that my babies are growing up. I think about my miscarriage and about the mastectomy, I envisioned us with a third little Bailey but that was not to be.
I have two beautiful, smart wonderful girls and I know that I am blessed! My blues will pass but tonight I am allowed to mope a bit. Tomorrow is another day.
I got to once again spend the day with Madison’s Kindergarten class on Thursday for the Valentine’s ice creme party. We helped the kids each pass out their cards, played a rousing game of musical hearts and then they were sugared up on ice creme sundaes. What more could you possibly want at 6 years old?
Today the girls were off from school so we began to complete the final checklist for our trip. We went to the salon where they both got haircuts. Then we went to the mall for some clothes for Madison. Of course while we were there we could not pass up the opportunity to enjoy some jumbo pizza slices at the food court.
The weather is calling for some possible snow over night tonight but by the time we got home from the mall it was in the mid 50′s and sunny. The girls finally had an opportunity to try out the roller skates they received at Christmas. It was a nice day with my girls!
One more week before we are on a plane to Disney World! Yippie!!!! With each day the anticipation grows even more! I hope and pray for great weather and an even better time with my family!
Today was my day to help out in Madison’s class. It was fun in a strange way. I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a lover of all children. I do enjoy seeing my baby with her peers, she is such a big girl, confident, strong and proud. She seems to enjoy my being in the class and there is nothing more important to me than being there for my girls.
When I got home I decided to take a walk, clear my head a bit. Although I am trying not to think too much about the pending biopsy, it is lingering in the back of my head. The weather here is unseasonably warm. It was nice to be out. The breeze was a bit chilly but with iPod going it really did feel great to walk. At one point I felt like Forrest Gump, once I started going I did not want to stop.
The girls were able to go outside to play for a little while after school which was also very nice. I cooked out on the grill which is just crazy in the North East in January. The day all in all was not too bad, calm and nice. Then came dinner when my 6-year-old informed me that I did not have a “real” job.
Interesting even at that age the societal message has gotten through.
Tomorrow I expect to receive a call with the results of my ultrasound. I of course am hoping to hear that all is good and I can finally move forward from this 2 year-long medical black cloud. I will think positive thoughts and hope for the best!
Thursday is another big day. I am back in Madison’s classroom to help out with journal writing. The first time in the class was before Christmas and it was eye-opening. The goal is to get them to write a 2-3 word sentence using their “kid writing”. Write the word the way they hear it. Well let’s just say it was something. A few who just looked at me wanting me to spell it for them or the others who thought it was cool that Madi’s mommy was there so they were totally distracted. The attention span on some is really short lol. Madison loves that I am coming again and that is all that matters! I will be in there every other week until the end of the year I believe. I hope this week goes a bit better!
SO I am sitting here watching the History channel and the show Bamazon where some construction workers from Alabama have headed into the Amazon jungle to search for gold. There are several of these shows on now and all are basically the same premise. A group of people who are already financially drained head into an extreme area, jungle, Bearing Sea, Alaska, and attempt to strike it rich. People (I) watch because you pull for them hoping that someone will hit it big but of course are not surprised when not only do they not hit it big but more often end up in even deeper debt that they started out with.
My kids laugh at me for watching these shows, more because I believe they find them boring. I guess It is just holding on to some kind of hope that anyone who tries hard enough can strike it rich. I mean, we all know the saying money can’t buy happiness but is can sure pay the bills and that makes me pretty happy!
Today is going to be an interesting day. At back to school night for Madison, we were presented with a form asking if we would be available to help with several different things. I am not the “room mom” type. Megan was also very independent and did not want Mom hanging around school.
Now with Madison in Kindergarten, I have nothing special going on until she gets home for lunch. With all of the surgeries that were still ongoing when school started, I could not commit to anything but said that if they needed help with things throughout the year I may be able to step in. So I received my first request last week for today…assisting the process of “kid writing journals”. If you do not have children, this is the beginning of the kids learning to write independently even though they can not spell. They are charged with attempting to write as they hear it basically. Some are really something but everyone starts somewhere. Today I will meet with the writing specialist to make sure I know what I am doing and will assist one hour a week every other week I believe until the end of the year. Wish me luck .
Then I received a phone call a few days ago from another mom. Seems she is one of the actual room mother’s who was not expecting all of the different responsibilities. She asked if I could fill in for her at the Holiday party Thursday. As long as I do not have to bake anything I am in! Madison is SOOO excited because I have to be there first thing so I will be taking her to school with me and bringing her home.
I remember my Kindergarten days, they were not happy. Neat that I get to replace those memories with some good ones with my own baby. And to do it this week, well I think it helps the entire family feel just a little more safe.
Tomorrow I have the “Family Celebration” at the Kindergarten. It is a holiday celebration where the kids will sing. What I like about it is the fact that unlike many areas of our world right now they are not being told that religion is not alright. Instead they are learning about different holiday traditions. I am not exactly sure what the entire line up is for the morning since Madi has tried to keep some secrets but I know We Wish you a Merry Christmas, The Dradle song and a poem about Kwanza are on the list.
I read something earlier which made perfect sense to me. It was in response to an article that I had read about prisons. The person wrote that it was interesting that our prisons ensure bibles and other holy books are available to convicts yet we can not mention religion in our schools and maybe just maybe if we open them a little earlier we would not have such a prison overcrowding issue. Maybe and maybe not but interesting to think about at least.
At this time of year where every time I turn on the TV to see someone else offended over what someone has done or said, when we argue over Christmas trees or Holiday trees, I am not at all offended that my Catholic child will be singing the dradle song tomorrow or the fact that she thinks it is way cool that they get gifts for several days in a row. Not sure when it happened or if I am just getting cranky in my older age but it seems that our once strong and proud country has really become thin-skinned.
Yesterday was like any other. Get the kids up and ready for school. Bus stops followed by normal daily function. In the blink of an eye it was time back to head back to the bus stop for Madison. That is when it all changed.
Madi is my active, hyper even crazy at times child. Since Kindergarten is only half day she gets home bouncing off the walls. So when she got home yesterday we had some lunch and discussed her day. She does so enjoy school. After lunch she decided it was time to dance. Around the living room she flew laughing as if performing for an adoring crowd. That is until she lost her balance and landed with her mouth into the back of a wooden chair.
I heard the impact and jumped. I was next to her just as the shock turned to screaming and tears. I pulled her with me to the freezer and got ice then noticed the blood. She was in a total panic. I got her mouth washed out and finally calmed her so I could inspect the damage. Thankfully, my toothless little cherub just lost her two top teeth. That was actually where the blood was coming from and I am sure that if the teeth had been there they would have been broken or knocked out. He lip is purple and a size larger than normal but all in all not as bad as I initially thought.
From there it just continued, a trip over the dog landing her on her belly followed by landing a bit too hard on a bean bag chair and banging her head on the wall.
By 8:30 my baby, looking tattered and a little bruised, looked at me with a shutter in her voice and asked “can I go to bed now? It has been a bad day.” Tears followed as did a big hug and off to bed we went. I think the poor kid passed out as she hit the pillow.
This morning started off well…the bus will be home shortly. We can only hope this is a better day!
SO I had my follow-up this morning. Pretty uneventful visit actually. He agreed that one boob was looking more north than the other but says it could take up to 3 months for healing and that they should align properly. He also feels the nipples will shrink down to a normal size. At the moment I feel like they arrive in a room at least a minute before I do. He told me to make another follow-up in 6 weeks. At that point if they are still uneven then he can make a small incision to lift the left boob. He can also reduce the size of the questionable nipple. I wanted more detail on what this would look like, in office? Hospital? He did not want to discuss it. Says we need to give it time to heal and let my body do it’s thing. If all works out we will not need to do anything. We shall see.
I was cleared to shower…YEAH! So much easier than washing my hair in the sink. I am also allowed to start wearing a bra, no under wire. We will discuss the bra on another post.
After the doctor I came home and picked up Madison for a big day! Meet the teacher at the Kindergarten. I was so proud of her! She did great! As we walked toward her building she told me to follow her. She showed me how to follow the red foot prints to get to the right building. They had a bus parked in the lot so the kids could go on and practice with the seat belts. Then we went into her classroom. She looked around and found her seat and sat so confidently. My baby, what a big girl! They had an opportunity to explore, listened to a story read by the teacher and met some other kids from the class.
I love that our district does this. Really allows the kids to get comfortable with the process. She told me that she wanted to be in bed early so she could be ready for school. She was asleep by 8pm…love it! I am the mother of a 3rd grader and a Kindergartener, where does the time go?
64 days wow! In the months leading up to the mastectomy, there were points where I never thought the actual surgery day would come. Now I look back and am amazed, it seems like forever ago. So how am I feeling?
My abdomen has healed nicely. I have a small lump which is probably scare tissue in the front which I will point out to the doctor tomorrow. It is still tight in the area but it is a good tight. I need to keep it that way! The Surgeon has mentioned that I can have a scar revision done, I will have to think about that possibility.
The boobs are coming along. I still have one ugly bruise on the left side that causes some minor pain. The incisions are healing. I have my first follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon tomorrow. The newpples are different sizes, one of which way too big. When I spoke with his nurse last weeks she said not to worry. They have to be big to allow for shrinking and anything that does not shrink can be taken care of in the office easily. I still think one is higher than the other but not as bad as it was since some of the swelling has gone down. I guess it will just take more time to determine what the final appearance will be.
I have not been allowed to stand and take a “full” shower since the nipple reconstruction. They did not want the steri strips around the newpples to get wet. It has been a bit of a pain, washing in the shower with the hand-held then washing my hair in the kitchen sink. I remember when I was a kid my mother would freak out if you even brushed your hair in the kitchen. Good thing she is not around to see this!
Big day tomorrow. After the doctor Madison and I will head to the Kindergarten for meet the teacher. I am happy that the district does this. Allows the kids to not only meet the teacher, but see where the classroom is and in which building. Our Kindergarten is separated from any of the other schools and has 3 buildings. They are color codes. Tomorrow Madi will get a lanyard to wear on Thursday that will match a colored set of foot prints that shows which building to go to. This visit helps to relieve some of the first day stress.
I guess we are in a waiting period once again for surgery but unlike before I am not in agony waiting for this one. Instead just trying to make sure everything is caught up on around the house. We have also focused on getting ready for school to start sorting through closets and drawers, filling backpacks with supplies. Haircuts are scheduled, drawers are straightened and things that do not fit removed. With the nipple reconstruction and revision scheduled for 8/24, I need to make sure we are all ready to go for September 6th…the first day of school! I am really hoping that I am moving around well because on September 5th Madison, who is starting Kindergarten, has met the teacher day. I will be very upset if I can not be there for that!
Most importantly for this week we have a super special birthday on Saturday. My first-born turns 8 years old..yikes! Just a small party this year, pool and BBQ (if the weather holds fingers crossed) with her couple of cousins aunts and uncles.
We went out to the store yesterday and for the first time I wore a sport bra, although the Doctor has never said I was allowed to wear one. It is so hot I can not walk around with the baggy shirt hanging over the tank! I actually wore a T-shirt and felt comfortable that no one was looking at my square boobs. I am feeling more and more normal each day. I still have stiffness in the chest and tightness in the abdomen but I have come to accept that they will be part of life for a long while. It does not affect daily functions and is really no more that aches and stiffness. I only wish I could sleep on my side…that I really miss!
I continue to do some type of exercise daily, elliptical machine, punching bag or walking. I would really like to turn this experience into an opportunity to refocus the entire family on our health. The girl’s exercise with me either punching the bag, jumping on their little trampoline or simple sit-ups. Unfortunately, frank and I both have struggled with our weight as did my mother and his father. We need to do better for ourselves and the girls!
We did have a big event yesterday, Madison lost her third tooth. We were all very excited!