Category: Me

Unfocused anger

The other day I had an angry visitor to my site who took offense to my post Go sell your Drama somewhere else. This person felt I was being mean and “attacking someone on a blog that was supposed to be about breast cancer”.  What is interesting about that is the post in question is written about me and how I have changed how I respond to negative influences on my life.  Second, at no time have I stated that this is about “breast cancer.” My header gives a brief description,

 “What would you do if presented with a 50-50 chance of developing breast cancer? That is exactly what happened to me. This is my journey to peace of mind.”

 “About this page”  goes more in-depth about the beginnings of this blog.  Over time I discussed my preparation for a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy, the surgery itself, the impact it had on my family and myself and the decisions I have made and the effect those decisions had on my family and myself.  As I began to get back to normal after my surgery, I discussed how the experience changed me and my intention to continue the blog and focus on my family.

Over time I received the support of many tremendous people, many of those women who either were strong survivors of cancer or like me able to make preemptive decisions to prevent cancer.

This blog has been a sounding board, a type of therapy to clear my head.  A place to meet others and share ideas.  If that offends someone well, for lack of a better thought, tough!  In this great land of the free,you have the right not to read my scribblings.

To that visitor, I hope you find some peace from what ever it is that angers you so that you feel you must lash out at things that you do not seem to understand and that honestly are unimportant in the greater scope of what seems to weigh on you to cause such anger.

Thank you to my friends, family and those who have offered support along the way!

Tomorrow is another day

A few days home and things are fully back to normal.  Thankfully Madison’s stomach is one of those things!  The scheduling of yet another pelvic ultrasound is another.  I still question whether it would be better to know for sure if I was BRCA positive.  I am not sure if it really matters at this point I guess.

After realizing that there was a history of prostate cancer in men on my father’s side, added to the breast cancer issues on my mothers,  I reached out to the genetic counselor to see if it made a difference in the insurances companies payment position.  I have heard back from the genetic counselor and it does not.  She sent me the full bullet pointed criteria laid out by the insurance company.

I can not worry about things I can not control.  This puts and end to the thoughts of testing for me.  I have already had a prophylactic mastectomy and the fact that I have scheduled my third pelvic ultrasound in roughly 5 months shows a close eye is being kept on me.  Pending the results of this round I will need to make some decisions.  Until then, well tomorrow is another day!

 

Baby it’s cold outside

It did not take long upon arriving home to realize, it is cold! I have always said that I like where I live because I enjoy the change of seasons. For the most part that is a true statement still. I like a nice snowfall, once a year. I like to watch the leaves turn in autumn and fall from the trees. I love early spring and the buds that appear on the trees and bloom over the weeks. What I am coming to realize in my older age is that I do not love everything in between. I can definitely live without 25 degree weather and wind the takes your breath away. Grey skies that linger for days even weeks. It all gets a little depressing.

The day we arrived in Orlando it went to 88 degrees. Even when rain crept in it was warm. This morning at the bus stop layered up the wind still ripped through me like a knife. A storm is rolling across the country expected to bring snow midweek.

“The grass is always greener on the other side”. I guess I will have to keep this in mind as I long for end of winter. I dread sitting outside at soccer practice Thursday night with Megan, hopefully it will snow and cancel!