My Family

Decisions that matter and those that change everything

Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy, a decision made after years of anguished thought, one that changed my life.  Words to some, but a 2 year-long process that changed everything about how I think, how I make decisions and almost everything about my life.  The entire stream of thought that started this blog as I worked through my decisions to have surgery over 3 years ago.  I truly do believe that the process changed my life as well as my families.

Over time these pages became my thoughts on life, parenting and more.  I have never changed the name because no matter the thoughts shared, they have always been about “decisions” in some way.  I mean that is all life is right?  A long road paved in decisions both good and bad.

As your kids grow they become involved in activities, sports and otherwise and you grow to trust the adults, often parents who also have children involved.  You tell yourself that they are doing what is best for all of the kids as well as your child.  This is our story with soccer.  The girls have both played since 5 years old.  Issues began to show themselves last year with our older daughter’s team but to be honest at the time I was in the midst of the Town Council election race and could not refused to see it  act on the issues.

11928724_10203867858291906_7063304232702176066_nIt became clear the development of my child was not important to those in charge of the team.  She was not having fun, the team was not growing and something had to give.  In our town many demand loyalty to the “township”.  I am loyal only to those I love and those loyal to myself and those I love.  It became clear it was time for a decision,

Decisions, stay within our township and play for a team put together as an after thought,

Decisions, Play for other townships who we once competed against(a few wanted Meg because she was one of the strongest full-time goalkeepers in the area, a position she never wanted to play full-time)

Decisions, go totally outside the established township societal rules and try out for a private club team.

The long process of making this decision sounds so silly to some but when the will, thoughts and feelings of an 11-year-old girl are involved, absolutely nothing is easy.  This was a very difficult decision, she would not know anyone, she would play outside of our community.  Since she was not ever provided playing time on the field (outside of goal) she was at a clear disadvantage.  We showed up for a training and after only 45 minutes my girl was accepted to the team, a private club team.  The interesting feedback from the evening, she would be expected to play all aspects and was too young to be limited to any one aspect of the game but that they would train her.  The decision was clear and made immediately.  My girl was thrilled.

For the last 2 months we have practiced and trained all guided under the eyes of her new coach.  Scrimmages and 3 v 3 competitions to prepare for the season brought us to this past weekend.  Our first tournament to prepare for the season.  With Megan’s background and skill she is still the starting keeper for the team and started all 3 games during the first half.  In the second half of the first game she took the field  as a mid-fielder playing a mixed offensive/defensive position and pulled her weight.  It was the second game where my head spun!  Midway through the second half  I saw my girl substituted into the game as a Forward.  I figured she was there just to give someone a water break and that it would be a short shift but then something happened.  Meg had only been in the game for about 2-3 minutes when her team began moving down the field.  A beautiful pass from a teammate right to the center of the field where Meg was waiting and with one touch Megan launched the ball into the top of the net for her first goal ever.

Meg jumped so high it became clear to her teammates how special this was for her.  Hugs and high fives were exchanged.  Pride, confidence, development and teamwork.  Our decision was clearly the right one.  I have never seen my daughter practice so hard and enjoy the game so much.  She looks forward to practice and can not wait for the next game.  They will not win every game but they have heart, fight and a will to succeed.  If life were a book I would have to say that this chapter is still being written but the first few pages look like one great story!

My Family

Lunacy

Day after day we hear stories about how unfair life is and how those that “have”  owe something to those that do not. As a country we seem to be losing our perspective. Hard work, drive, education no longer seem important. Entry level workers think they should be paid equivalent to those who spent much more time on education and experience. Many feel the government should take care of them and that pay scales should be equal regardless of education or time spent.   To top it off was an article a few months ago suggesting parents who read to their children at night are providing an unfair advantage to their children.  When does it stop?

Lower the standards , don’t offend, don’t rock the boat. Make everything “fair”. We give participation awards to all of the kids and mandate playing time as to not exclude or hurt feelings.  We make excuses instead of demanding improvements, instead of working to bridge the gaps and raise the bar. Since millions have never heard the word NO, they are growing up to expect everything handed to them.

We have a presidential election not too far away where on one side we have a blow-hard spouting any and every crazy thing that comes to his head and on the other a woman so surrounded in corruption.  Is this really it?  Is this what we are to build our future on?  What is worse is the fact that as a society we are so divided that both have a loyal following.

What are we leaving our children?

Me, My Family

I am not ready, but here we go!

I am not ready! The other night I attended the middle school orientation for the parents of incoming sixth graders at one of the local middle schools.  The school itself is beautiful and huge.  It was a bit intimidating to me.  The high school I attended was tiny in comparison. It scares me a little to think of my baby walking the halls in September.  In my mind, she is still the little baby who loved to be held and cuddled.  Of course she is no longer that baby, she is a beautiful, intelligent, strong and confident young girl who is not only ready for the next stage but excited for it to come.

keep-calm-i-m-not-ready-yet-1The process of our 6 elementary schools folding into 3 middle schools is actually a very well planned out chain of events that started a few weeks ago.  A counselor visited the elementary school and talked to the kids followed a week later by the kids boarding a bus for a tour of their soon to be new school.  Last week, the parents met with the Principal and in August there is a several day program in which the kids get used to the school, lockers and all of the wonderfully High School like world that our Middle school will provide.

When I went to school (way back when) I went to the same building for 8 years.  There are more kids in the elementary school that Meg attends that were in my entire school and the middle school has almost 200 more kids that.  I am finding myself a bit overwhelmed but like I stated earlier Megan is so excited.  She has already been studying the list of clubs and is putting thought into how to decorate her locker.  I am not ready!

Every night before I go to bed, I look in on the girls and stand for a minute and watch them sleep.  Often I kiss a cheek or the top of a head and smile.  I think of just how proud of them I am.  I can not imagine a life without my girls, my family.  Lately, when looking at Megan I wonder when it happened.  When did that shy, timid little girl become the young lady who is about to become a middle schooler and test for her black belt in karate.  It all happens too fast.

lunchbox noteSo here we sit ready to embark on another first, another new adventure.  I will be there to celebrate the wins and to dry the tears.  I will hide my unease because this is part of life, the necessary part where mommy can not control everything, the part where my little girl must take steps to build her future.  I may not be ready but my wonderful, brilliant beautiful daughter is so I will kick and scream,(quietly behind a door)  and probably shed a tear or two but away we go. Ready or not, I will be with you every step of the way!