Thoughts 2 weeks + 1

It is so outrageously hot!  I would love to get outside and take a walk but not going to happen.

It has been a very pleasant morning.  I laid in bed until 8am…(my girls are typically up by 6:30 ish).  Had a leisurely cup of coffee and quietly sitting back on my bed typing this.  I did talk to the girls who are having a wonderful time with their aunt.  I am also having a wonderful time all alone.  Is that bad?  I feel kind of guilty but it is true.  Today the Disney channel will not be on my TV but instead will be replaced by the True Blood episodes I am behind on. Don’t get me wrong, I love Disney as a matter of fact booked the rest of our Disney trip reservations on Sunday. Too many Phineas and Ferb episodes starts to make me crazy.

There is one thing that I did not expect to learn through this experience and that is who will really be there for you when needed.  There are people who I expected to be “there” but I have not even heard from..not a call, text, e-mail, note on Facebook, card or even owl (Harry Potter reference for those into Harry).  Then on the other side we have had people who have gone above and beyond anything I ever could have expected. I don’t want this to sound wrong, I mean I am not a materialistic person.  A card or simple text shows someone is thinking about you and cares. When everything on you body hurts, it helps just to know that someone cares.  I was having a bad day one day and a box arrived with the cutest little mini yellow rose bush…totally changed my day!  Food dropped off from wonderful people have allowed my overstretched husband to be able to focus on myself and the girls.  The many cards and thoughts sent from my friends here provided a smile during otherwise unpleasant time.

For all of you who have been there thank you from the bottom of my heart I love you all.  For those who have not, well…whatever.

2 weeks and moving forward

The house is quiet….the cherubs have gone to spend a few days with my sister.  She has wanted them to visit for a while now and with the recovery the time seemed perfect.  I feel bad that they were just stuck sitting around with me, and honestly they have been driving me crazy!  My sister lives at the Jersey Shore (not the Snookie shore).  It should be a fun couple of days for the three of them…I hope :-)!

So some updates. My abdominal incision is really healing nicely.  Still very sore on the left side because of that annoying ever-present drain but other than that very pleased with the way that it is healing.  The boobs are another story.  They are growing more and more uncomfortable with each passing day.  I think there are two reasons for this, first the swelling is going down so the feeling is coming back and they have been through a lot!  I think the other reason is a bit self-induced.  I really tried to be the super woman and go oxy free.  I think that also may account for many of the tears lately.  I realize that maybe being the martyr is not good for anyone.

My mobility is progressing nicely.  I can lift my right arm fully above my head and the left is close.  Thankfully my back is also feeling much better.

I tried to shower the other day.  I was cleared to do such AS LONG as I was able to keep the remaining drain completely dry.  I really really wanted to shower. I tried to cover it with plastic but was still concerned the tape would give.  Instead of a full shower I had to just use the handheld shower nozzle…still the best washing I have been able to manage but I would really love to stand under the running warm water of a shower!  I am back at the doctor Wednesday and high hopes that the drain comes out.

I am still wrapping my head around the fact that after all that agonizing waiting, two weeks ago today I had a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy.  And if that was not enough, at the same time had my abdomen cut from one end to the other , (DIEP Flap) in order to  “relocate”  flesh to build the newbies.  And although I have had periods of self-pity, sadness and  moodiness  I and fully aware of how well I am healing and fell totally empowered and in full control of my future!

Thank you Frank

I just wanted to post a quick note to publicly thank my husband Frank.  Whether it is the bed he moved down the stairs himself for me to sleep in so I could avoid steps, or ensuring there is always something in the fridge for me to just grab.  Maybe it is his helping to empty the annoying drains or keeping the girls busy so I can nap.  It could be the back rubs or the handling of daily activities. Mostly it is having to deal with the roller coaster of emotions that fly his way at any given time of the day…(the tears can come out of no where for no reason at any time…totally out of my control).

I realize that it has not been easy but like everything else these last 14 years we figure it out and get it done.  Thank you Frank for everything…I love you!