Tag: Children

Life changing experiences

 

So I ended my last post with the following question: Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?  What a buzz that started! :-).  In hindsight could have worded it better, it is not any type of breaking news.  Was intended to only be a lead in to the next piece of the story.

After growing up swearing I would never have children, I am so happy that my mind was changed.  I love being mommy.  It took a little while to get used to the fact that I did not leave my house to go to work. I state it that way because as a stay at home mom, it is work.  It is amazing how some people do not feel that to be true.  How many times over the years I have been asked when I was going to get a “real job” or go “back to work”.  I am blessed to be in a financial position to be able to stay home with my children.  Things could of course be easier if I were also bringing in a pay check but this is a decision that my husband and I made together for the best of our family.  It is not a decision that is right for everyone nor would I ever judge another for the decisions made for their family.  I guess that is why is angers me so when that judgement is made about me.

Late in 2009 we decided to add to the clan.  The world needed another Bailey!  I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I went to the OB for the first visit.  I was sent for an ultrasound a few days later.  During the ultrasound visit the tech informed me that my dates must be wrong.  According to measurements the baby  was only 5 weeks.  I was very sure about the dates!  I was moved to another room to meet with a doctor.  They put me on progesterone in an attempt to prevent a miscarriage.  I was to return in 2 days for blood work.

I returned and had a small, very small improvement in the blood counts.  Within a day I started to have cramping and some bleeding.  I called the doctor and got an immediate appointment.  Before I could even get there , I had a miscarriage.  To make it worse, my Madison was with me, scared, crying.  My heart was broken but the baby in front of me had to take priority.  I calmed her and we went to the doctor.  All they could do was offer support, a shoulder to cry on.  Over the next roughly 10 days I had to return every 2 days for blood work.  Of course my body could not complete the job and I had to be scheduled for a D&C.

Sad does not fully cover the feeling.  Life goes on, I had two beautiful girls who needed me. I never fully grieved, that is not who I am.  I was very sad, but it was my responsibility to get up and move on.  Once a little time passed we figured we would try again.  I really always believed we would have another child that is until June 2011.

For those who have followed the blog a while, you know that was when it all began.  I found a lump in March 2011 and by June had received the news that although not cancer, an “Irregularity” and the 50-50 breast cancer chance.  Decisions, life is full of decisions.  I so wanted another child, but what I want more was to live to see the 2 that I had grow and thrive.  I had the Mastectomy 7/2/2012.

Could I have a child now?  Sure physically I could.  In a few weeks I will be 41 years old, my husband is 43.  My body is not fully recovered from the mastectomy, DIEP surgery, and  breast reconstruction. Do I want to be 60 packing my child up for college?  And after everything I have been through to put my body through that?

I just don’t have it in me.  I have two beautiful, smart and thankfully healthy girls that I love with all of my heart.  Things happen for a reason I am told.  I love my family!

 

A growing family

Once Frank and I decided we are going to expand our family,  my head was full, so many thoughts, will we be good parents?  Will our children sit on some couch in 30 years talking about how we screwed up their lives? But in we dove.  The decision was the easiest part.

To start with I gained over 70 pounds when pregnant with Megan.  There were many reason for this I assume. I was a smoker and quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I am sure I was a real hormonal piece of work  to be around while going through nicotine withdrawal.  I also decided that Megan liked Lemon water ice and mini chocolate donuts.  She NEEDED to have them!

At some point the pregnancy was deemed “high risk”.  I had placenta previa.  I would have to take a few days off from work each time and lay flat and not move.  I was sent for a “high risk”  ultrasound, which was code for way too long.   They  counted every limb, finger and even toe.  They searched for each organ and after almost 2 hours they determined that Megan was just fine.

I grew larger and larger, my due date came and went, I walked and grew and then walked some more.  I thought if I kept moving she would eventually drop out.  Once I was over 2 1/2 weeks late they finally induced labor and my giant 9 lb 6 oz baby girl arrived.  They quickly swept her away from me after determining that she was not breathing properly.  She stayed the next few days in the NICU. In the end, thankfully she was fine.

I loved being a mom.  We decided the Bailey clan needed another member.  My pregnancy with Madison was pretty uneventful.  Other than being huge massive and extremely uncomfortable, it went pretty smoothly.  Once Madison was born, my Megan seemed to be taken over by a very unhappy little person that I did not know.  There were some complications during delivery with Madison so they converted to an emergency C-section.  I ended up in the hospital for several days.  During visits Megan would not talk to me or sit with me and she wanted nothing to do with her sister!

Things are so much easier with the second child.  By the time I left the hospital, the nurses had already had Madi on a decent schedule.  She was such a pleasant baby.  Good eater, good sleeper and for the most part little fuss.  It did not take long for Megan to warm up to her sister.

Watching them together was and is wonderful.  They get along beautifully.  Of course they argue at times but they are the best of friends and think of each other always.  If either is away from the other and offered anything, they ask for one for the other.  They are my world.

Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?

Piano, soccer and homework, it must be the weekend!

I don’t know how people with 3+ children do it!  This weekend was the first of what we will call a normal weekend for the forseeable future.  Saturday Morning started with a 10:30 am piano lesson for Megan.  I took her to that because Madison had a soccer game at 11:30 and Frank is the assistant coach.  Megan and I planned to go right to the game until we received the panicked phone call from Frank that he had lost his wallet. I always love calls like that, I mean I did not have the wallet.  What made this loss more important than the normal “can’t find my wallet” dance is the fact that he had to drive to Washington DC Saturday night for a convention and needed photo ID to get in.

Funny, I can vote without photo ID but Frank was going to be unable to attend his convention without one.

Megan and I changed course after her lesson and headed home.  We were in the house under 5 minutes when I was able to locate the wallet..thankfully.  I don’t understand how this happens so often.  I place my purse and keys in the exact same spots every time I enter the house.  When I need them, I know exactly where to go.  At least once a week we search for something that belongs to my husband and after all of these years I guess that is something that will not change.

So back across town for Megan and I to catch Madison’s game.  We arrived just in time.  It was hot and humid.  The kids energy levels faded quickly due to the heat.  At Madison’s age they do not keep score, which is a good thing :-)!  They tried and we were all happy when the game was over.  They all looked like they had been swimming.

Back home for some lunch and preparation for Megan’s soccer game.  By late afternoon it was even hotter but there was at least a small breeze making it tolerable to sit in the full sun.  I need to buy a hat.  AFter the game back home for FRank to pack and head to Washington.

On Sunday Madison and I sat and completed her first school project.  It was an “All about me” poster.  The kids could draw pictures if they were not able to fill in the answers but Madison would have none of it.  She would answer the question and I would spell each word as she filled in the lines.  Then we colored it together.  This took a while to complete.  When we were finished, she was so pleased with herself…and I was very proud I must admit!

I am happy that the girls go back to school tomorrow, I need a day off!