Just a little somber this week

The joy of reading.  My mother always tried to instill it in me with very little luck.  Thankfully, my daughter has it in her blood.  As I just sat down to the laptop to begin a post about my upcoming surgery, she came from her bedroom where she has been reading for about an hour.  She just needed to fill me in on what was happening in her book.  She is reading the first book of the Sisters Grimm series and is loving it.  I just love to watch her as she describes what she is reading.  The joy on her face, the light in her eyes.  She is able to visit a world of imagination through reading that I have never been able to find.  I think we will need to make sure we hit the library again before the weekend. 🙂

So, Friday is my surgery.  The official name of my procedure is hysteroscopy and endometrial ablation.  The procedure itself it not really a concern to me.  Based on what I went through last summer with the BPM, the pain, the recovery time, this should be easy enough.  See after the ablation it will be permanent, no more children.  Now, I was not really planning to have anymore, I am 41 years old and have two beautiful, smart and busy children.  I thank God for them every day!  Since my miscarriage a few years ago I have always thought about 1 more Bailey.  I love being mommy.  I feel like my girls have grown from infant to elementary school over night.

I am thrilled with my family.  I was not looking to change it or add to it but having that decision now made final, I guess it just it has made me just a little sad.  It will pass.  I will hug my girls and my husband just a little harder and maybe a little longer this week.  Next week the girls have karate camp and soccer practice is right around the corner.  The things that will fully remind me that I am doing what I am supposed to be already.

For the rest of this week, I will allow myself to sulk just a little.