Me, the early years

When we were young, my mother wanted us to get the best possible education.  She wanted us to do better than she did in life. The public schools in our area at the time were not very good.  She went to our church  parish and asked for tuition help.  My mother was a Catholic born and raised.  We went to church every Sunday.  I never fully understood her belief since they felt she was a bad Catholic because of her divorce, but week after week we went. For the help with tuition,  we all worked.  I raked leaves at the convent, cleaned desks in the school over the summer and moved things between classrooms.

It taught me all an important lesson in life, nothing in the world is free!  If you are to succeed, the road is not easy.  If you are not willing to put your back into it, work hard, success does not come.  This is a lesson my husband and I are trying to instill in our girls.  It is tough these days with the media generation and immediate gratification.  We are able to give our girls many of the things neither of us had as children.  We often battle with the “what is too much” line.

In 5th grade they were a bit worried about me. I was a latch key kid.  Back then leaving young kids alone was not as frowned upon as it is today. I had a strong imagination. Idle time and I were not the best of friends. I had a wonderful teacher by the name of Helene Kunicki who kept me after school many days.  I would help her do whatever, clean out closets, move desks.  Spending time with her helped close the gap before my mother would get home from work.  She was a wonderful woman who through a simple act of kindness probably helped change the course of my life by keeping me out of trouble.

My mother ruled with an iron fist.  There was none of this “mommy friend” thing we see so much of today.  She was the boss. In hindsight it is easy to judge her but I saw a woman left to raise 3 children alone.  A woman limited professionally due to her own background and single motherhood.  A woman who battled cancer for 10 years.  It is always easy to judge when you do not have to walk in that persons shoes.

The rules in our house were clear!  If your grades were down there was nothing else, period.  By high school I had begun to excel and when I graduated college I did so on the dean’s list.

As I look back at how we were raised, I wish many things would have been different.  But such is life.  She was far from perfect but I am glad for many of the life lessons I learned . Those early years leave an impression of course but as time goes on each person must make a decision.  What type of person do I want to be?  What will I hold on to and what must be left behind? Will I allow the not so pleasant moments to be baggage or fuel to do better?

Life is all about decisions.

Blogs, boobs and the future

I have been communicating via this blog for roughly 5 months or so.  I started as an outlet for my feeling surrounding my upcoming Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy.  I found great comfort in the support of others who were in similar situations.  I hope I also provided some for others.

I continue to recover but for the most part the roughest parts are behind me.  I have completed the nipple reconstruction and revision and have been cleared for regular activity.  Although still sore, each day gets easier and more normal.  Today was a day of laundry and food shopping, can’t get much more normal than that! 🙂 I will see the doctor again in 6 weeks and may need 1 more small procedure but nothing to the scale of what I have been through the last few months.

SO, now what?  I enjoy the outlet the blog provides.  I named it Decisions for my Family but initially had a header of Boobs don’t make the Woman. A few weeks ago the blog went through a face lift and I dropped the “boobs” title.  I will continue to write the blog about things that affect the most important thing to me, my family.

This summer’s surgeries have changed me as a person and will be a constant foundation for many of my decisions.  In my situation, a reminder of how important actually making a tough decision is as well as  the impact of such decisions on everyone around me.

I have not fully decided what the future of the blog looks like and may not fully define the parameters.  Quite honestly there are no parameters it is truly a wide open topic.  From the upcoming election which I feel is the most important in my lifetime, to continued updates on the boobs.  There will of course be many words describing the most beautiful things in my life, my girls, my husband, my family. The future is thankfully, wide open!

11 days post Newpples, 64 days post BPM

64 days wow!  In the months leading up to the mastectomy, there were points where I never thought the actual surgery day would come.  Now I look back and am amazed, it seems like forever ago.  So how am I feeling?

My abdomen has healed nicely.  I have a small lump which is probably scare tissue in the front which I will point out to the doctor tomorrow.  It is still tight in the area but it is a good tight.  I need to keep it that way!  The Surgeon has mentioned that I can have a scar revision done, I will have to think about that possibility.

The boobs are coming along.  I still have one ugly bruise on the left side that causes some minor pain. The incisions are healing. I have my first follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon tomorrow.  The newpples are different sizes, one of which way too big.  When I spoke with his nurse last weeks she said not to worry.  They have to be big to allow for shrinking and anything that does not shrink can be taken care of in the office easily.  I still think one is higher than the other  but not as bad as it was since some of the swelling has gone down.  I guess it will just take more time to determine what the final appearance will be.

I have not been allowed to stand and take a “full” shower since the nipple reconstruction.  They did not want the steri strips around the newpples to get wet.  It has been a bit of a pain, washing in the shower with the hand-held then washing my hair in the kitchen sink.  I remember when I was a kid my mother would freak out if you even brushed your hair in the kitchen.  Good thing she is not around to see this!

Big day tomorrow.  After the doctor Madison and I will head to the Kindergarten for meet the teacher.  I am happy that the district does this.  Allows the kids to not only meet the teacher, but see where the classroom is and in which building.  Our Kindergarten is separated from any of the other schools and has 3 buildings.  They are color codes.   Tomorrow Madi will get a lanyard to wear on Thursday that will match a colored set of foot prints that shows which building to go to.  This visit helps to relieve some of the first day stress.

She is so excited Thursday is the big day!