I continue to be amazed with the depth and intelligence of my own children. Although I continue to heal, I am not 100%. It is no secret to the girls that I am not fully comfortable. They are aware that my body is still changing. I am trying to get things back to a normal daily routine but all they have to do is see me while I am changing and it is clear that we are not fully back to normal.
Megan is pretty easy to read. She wears her feelings on her sleeve so if something bothers her it does not take long to identify it and get it out into the open. Madison, she is a totally different animal! Things come flying out of her like missiles out of the blue. The other night, I was putting her to bed. We go through our normal routine, which in itself is very structured. Madison has certain things she has to say and have said to her nightly. As I give her one last kiss she looks up at me and says, “Mommy, will Megan and I have to have our boobies operated on when we get older?”
I was caught so off guard! Although I do my best not to lie to my girls, sometimes there is no good truthful answer. The honest answer is, I just do not know but it is highly probable. They have two grandmothers who past due to metastasized breast cancer and a mother who according to all of the doctors involved, would have been a breast cancer patient at some point had I not had the Prophylactic Mastectomy.
I gave her a hug and told her that we did not need to worry about such things. As I walked out of her room, I admit I had a few tears. I would do anything to protect them! I guess reality is that for as much as I want, I will not be able to protect them from everything. Over time, I will seek out advice and take any and all steps needed. It never ends!