Month: December 2012

Heading back to Kindergarten

Today is going to be an interesting day.  At back to school night for Madison, we were presented with a form asking if we would be available to help with several different things.  I am not the “room mom” type.  Megan was also very independent and did not want Mom hanging around school.

Now with Madison in Kindergarten, I have nothing special going on until she gets home for lunch.  With all of the surgeries that were still ongoing when school started, I could not commit to anything but said that if they needed help with things throughout the year I may be able to step in.  So I received my first request last week for today…assisting the process of “kid writing journals”.  If you do not have children, this is the beginning of the kids learning to write independently even though they can not spell.  They are charged with attempting to write as they hear it basically.  Some are really something but everyone starts somewhere.  Today I will meet with the writing specialist to make sure I know what I am doing and will assist one hour a week every other week I believe until the end of the year.  Wish me luck :-).

Then I received a phone call a few days ago from another mom.  Seems she is one of the actual room mother’s who was not expecting all of the different responsibilities.  She asked if I could fill in for her at the Holiday party Thursday.  As long as I do not have to bake anything I am in!  Madison is SOOO excited because I have to be there first thing so I will be taking her to school with me and bringing her home.

I remember my Kindergarten days, they were not happy.  Neat that I get to replace those memories with some good ones with my own baby.  And to do it this week, well I think it helps the entire family feel just a little more safe.

Normal.?!

Normal.

Woke the girls this cloudy, damp morning and started the normal preparation for school routine.  I hugged them both as they got out of bed.  Breakfast eaten, teeth brushed lunch packed, school bags readied.

Normal.

I hugged them both in the kitchen. We looked for Ernie our shelf Elf, he left a note last night.  The girls loved it.  I hugged them.

Normal.

We walked Megan to the bus stop, I hugged her as she got on the bus.  I stood with the other Mom’s..starring at the bus, I waved goodbye.

Normal.

A few minutes later stood at the bus stop with Madison.  I hugged her tightly. The bus arrived, I kissed her head as she stepped on, I stood and watched her get into her seat then waved.

I came in side feeling empty.  Pulled up FB to pictures of babies from CT.  Closed the computer.  Turned on the TV to a press conference from CT.  I grabbed the remote and flipped on Netflix.  Now watching “Weeds”..somehow seems appropriate.

There is nothing normal about today.

Heartbreak

Each morning I put my girls on a school bus and expect that hours later that same bus will return them back to me.  Twenty families in CT thought the same thing today but were not as blessed as I was to have my babies return.  Sick, heart-broken and utterly at a loss to understand what could drive anyone to perpetrate such an act only partially describe how I feel today.

Ironically Madison’s school did their first “Emergency” drill of the year yesterday.  For several years our district has done these. They lock the doors to the classroom, hide the children and sit in silence and in the dark until notified that the drill is over.  Madison was a bit nervous about it when she came home.  I explained to her that there are bad people in the world and I was sure they would never need to use what they learned but that it was good for everyone to know what to do just in case.  I always think to myself what have we become that we even have to practice such things in our schools and then something like today happens.

Of course the voices are ringing out calling for gun control.  The tears have not yet stopped flowing yet the speeches and camera grabs have started.  Let’s be honest, drugs are illegal but the last time I heard we had an epidemic in the country.  With that said, I live in New Jersey where we have some of the strictest gun laws in the country and I do not understand how all states are not like NJ.

One thing I do find very ironic, the images shown on the news of the many signs asking for prayers.  On FB many posts of a Jesus like figure holding a child are floating around.  Why are we only allowed to pray when tragedy happens?  I am sure many will disagree with me but maybe gun control is not the issue.  Maybe as a country we have lost our moral compass.  We have little respect for anything, MTV is a good example of this. I remember when the channel started it was Music television now it is sex, drugs, teen pregnancy and lude behavior as fully acceptable and marketed to our young people.  We fight like hell to ensure we do not mention “GOD” but 16 and Pregnant is broadcast nationwide. If we do not teach our kids to respect themselves, how will they respect others?  There is no longer a line between right and wrong, no value placed on anything including life.  No amount of gun control in the world can fix that.

God bless the families who lost their loved ones today.