Author: decisionsformyfamily

I am a married mother of two beautiful girls. Due to family and personal history I had an over 50% chance of developing breast cancer and refused to be a victim. On July 2, 2012 I underwent a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy with full reconstruction.

What if……

boy.-what-if-girl-love-quotes-Favim.com-627918.jpgI recently got into a conversation with someone in which I once again talked about my surgical history with the bilateral prophylactic mastectomy. I share my story often and openly in the hopes that it may help someone else. I am typically met with some amount of shock followed by questions which are usually the same. Interestingly one of the first tends to be “was it painful”. Other typical questions surround BRCA testing, family history and what lead me to make the radical decision I did to have the mastectomy.

So, back to the most recent conversation. For the first time I was asked the question, “what if you made a mistake and the surgery was not needed.” I found that to be an interesting question especially since lobular carcinoma in situ(LCIS) was found. Even after discussing the pathology this person stuck to the yeah but “what if” question. A quick reply was what if I did not and 5 years down the road I was diagnosed with Breast cancer?tumblr_lvxxryaQc91qelri4o1_500_large

I do not live in “what if”. This is why I had the surgery. I never wanted to look back with regret. SO to help land my point I tossed out a few other what if questions.

What if the Declaration of Independence was never signed?

What if Martin Luther King had never been born?

What if women never gained the right to vote?

What if we had never pushed the norms of technology?

size300_whatif300All of these questions  sound just ridiculous.  Life is all about decisions.  They are not always easy or comfortable and there will always be someone standing off to the side just waiting to second guess or challenge. I am not sure if I swayed the person’s opinion nor do I really care to be honest.  You make decisions everyday, at the end of it all you can only hope you made more good than bad.

 

So where did my money go?

Not too long ago I wrote a post, Sensory Overload, in which I implied my distrust for all of the pink that we all must swim in for the entire month of October.  I made the following statement, Don’t misunderstand, I think it is wonderful that everyone is raising money to hopefully one day put an end to Breast Cancer. But let’s be honest here, would the NFL be repainting lines in bright pink if it was not profitable?

So, I was not surprised to find the following article actually breaking down some of those numbers from the NFL.  (Click to see the article). What did surprise me was just how much did or should I say did not benefit breast cancer.  According to the article only $8 of every $100 spent is actually  donated to breast cancer charities.  

I love capitalism and I love the freedom that allows those who work hard to make lots of money.  I do not love vagueness, ambiguity or implication.  Sure money is needed to research for the cure.  If you would like to donate please research to ensure the money is actually going to where you would like it to go.  Even better call the women you love and ensure they are having mammograms and talking to their doctors.  There is nothing wrong with pretty pink hoodies supporting your favorite sports teams but like everything else in life make sure you are buying the for the right reasons.

To travel or not to travel, that is the question!

I am not typically one to read magazine articles but I just found myself chuckling at an article in the “Philadelphia” magazine.  The article is about a parent struggling with the decision to sign up a child for travel soccer or not.  Oh how I can relate to this parent!

When I was a child my parents were divorced.  I was raised by a single working mother who made it clear that after a hard week at work she would not spend her free time carting us around to sporting events.  If we wanted to participate in anything outside of school it would need to be with a friend whose parent was willing to take us also.  This may sound rough but now as a parent I understand (most of the time).

Many would say that my husband and I over compensate at times.  On top of school, my children both take music lessons, karate and play sports.   I remember a few years ago attempting to arrange for parties on the weekend and having many friends reply with “I am sorry but we have (fill in sport)”.  I would be left feeling a bit annoyed and would swear that our life would not be like that.  I was dead set that we would not have our lives controlled by any sport.

That all changed one night last summer when we received a phone call from Megan’s parks and rec soccer coach explaining that he had made the decision to coach at the travel level and that he was hoping to see Megan try out. I was not thrilled with the idea but she really wanted to do it. Of course we allowed it and the rest is history.  I am now the parent of the starting, (and only) goalkeeper on the team.  The girls practice twice a week and our Saturdays are spent on the fields.  Holiday weekends mean tournament play and for our child extra camps which cost extra money to improve her skills in-goal.

Image 1For some it sounds just awful and I will admit it is not for everyone.  For our family, it seems right.  We enjoy watching our girls play and improve.  We have bonded with many “team” families.  I also believe that the competition that comes with the travels program is very important. We live in a world of trophies for all, everybody plays and no winners or losers.  For the young ones that is fine but there comes a time in life when it is time to learn reality.  Life is filled with ups and downs, wins and losses.  It is up to parents and coaches to teach that winning is not everything but showing up prepared to “play” is a must be it sport, school, work or life in general .  Healthy competition as a child helps to prepare for the push and pull that they will experience through life.

I guess as time has passed I have become a “soccer mom”.  I do refuse to put one of those soccer ball magnets on my car.  We all have to draw the line somewhere :-).