Closure

While other celebrated Independence day last year, I laid perfectly still in a hospital bed,  IV’s and monitors attached everywhere.  Glass walls ensuring not a second of privacy. Less than 48 hours removed from a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and DIEP flap surgery,  I laid in the ICU with crazy beeping machines and alarms because my heart rate continually dropped too low due to excessive (yet needed) pain medications.

I did not yet realize the struggles I was about to face in recovery.  I was not aware that my husband had moved a bed into the family room for me.  I did not think about how many additional surgeries would follow.  At the time I lived 10 minutes at a time. That is how long it took before the little green light on my hand-held pain button would light up communicating I could once again push for a dose of Dilaudid.

Tomorrow I see my surgeon and will be released from his care.  A final ending to this extremely long chapter in my life.  It has been a life changing set of months.  It has made me a better mother and wife.  It has helped me put things into better perspective as to what is really important in life, my family.

I am both lucky and truly blessed.

Sunshine on my shoulders….

I feel like it was just a week or two ago where I was on here complaining about the cold temperatures.  For weeks we had been stuck in grey skies, winds that felt like they would never end and damp chilly air.

Well, happy days are here again!  We seem to have jumped from winter right into summer and enjoyed an 83 degree day today with bright beautiful sun shine and perfect blue skies.  To make it even better, tomorrow looks to be a repeat and yesterday was almost as great!  A local news station does a little rating with the weather and today was awarded a perfect 10, something I had never seen.  I fully concur!

I have spent hours outside cleaning up the yard, pruning bushes and mulching.  As Frank and I get older this Spring clean up takes a little longer and causes more aches and pains but I still love it!  To me it is part of the pride of home ownership.  There is no race on getting it finished and I will be back at it tomorrow.  I enjoy spending time in the yard and am perfectly willing to put in the time and effort to make it the way we like!

In a few weeks we will be able to plant our veggie garden.  This is something that the girls and I do together.  I enjoy watching them as we watch the plants mature.  They take it very serious fully understanding that the care given to those little plants produce wonderful vegetables that we enjoy for months.  We grow so many cherry tomatoes that through the summer months we always have a bowl full left on the island for all day snacking. Last summer my beautiful little girls had to handle most of the harvesting themselves since I was recovering. Although they did a wonderful job,  I look forward to being fully involved this year! The area is prepped and ready, we even expanded again this year.

A harvest from last season
A harvest from last season

The weekend looks to be heading back into the 50’s.  I am sure that will feel really cold after these few days.  Until then, I will fully enjoy every ray of sun I can!

Happy (yet strange) anniversary

Happy-Anniversary-si3577dI just received a “happy anniversary” note from WordPress.  It made me think for a minute. Indeed it was a year ago that I started this blog to help clear my mind and prepare for surgery.

One year ago the decision was made. A decision to remove a part of my body that I believed would become dangerous.  My mind was set on a decision that would change my life forever.

One year ago is important in my history because it changed me as a person, I put into print what was swirling through my mind setting the course for what would happen over the next many months.  It was not always easy but ever second was worth it!

One year ago I made the smartest decision in my life! The pathology report several months later proved, had I not made this decision, well nothing is 100% but lobular carcinoma in situ sets forth a dangerous course which would never have been found via mammogram.

One year ago seems like a lifetime ago.  I wonder what the next year will hold?

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