Me

Relax, don’t worry, wash that gray away

There was a time when I worked when I had a reputation of instilling fear.  I was a no-nonsense kind of person who did not put up with much.  I was also known to have a bit of a short fuse and let’s just say that patience was not a virtue. I do not know if it is age or life experience especially those medical experiences over the last year but I really seem to be seeing things differently and reacting much differently.  (Patience, well still working on that one a bit :-))

I had an appointment to get my hair touch up today.  I arrived and sat for a few minutes chatting with the ladies at the desk.  I have been going to the same salon for years now.  We chatted about Christmas, taking down the holiday decorations and how we all welcomed the normal routine returning.  AFter sitting for 5-10 minutes they decided to call the person who does my hair since she seemed to be running late.

As the call was being made one of the owners of the salon had come to the front, a very nice gentlemen about my age.  The news was then delivered, there was a miscommunication and they were so sorry but my stylist thought she had the day off.  Now, since I had surgery the week of Thanksgiving my hair schedule is a mess and I was WAY overdue for my touch up.  At 41, it is very clear that if I would allow it to grow in I would be fully gray, a look I am not ready for to say the least.

What happens next speaks to the changes I am experiencing in my older age I guess.  The owner immediately jumped in and said he would do my hair.  Now….for many women this is a very personal thing.  They wait weeks to get appointments with “their person”.  People become loyal, right or wrong.  Along with his offer to do my hair were continued apologies and an offer of a 20% price reduction on all services for the day.

I smiled and told them all to relax.  I was not upset at all.  I believe exactly what I said was, “no problem shit happens”.  I was getting the gray out which was the goal of the day.  Getting a discount, well that was a bonus.  There was a time where this probably would have set me off but why?  The way the shop handled it was about as well as you could ever hope for.  The woman who does my hair has an ill father who is preparing for surgery.  Between that, the holidays and her own family added in can overwhelm anyone.  Years ago I would not have know that because I guess I did not really care.  dontsweatthesmallstuff

There are real problems in life involving real people.  Life is just too short to get crazy over silly, stupid or senseless issues.  I guess we would all be better off if we could figure these things out much earlier.  I am happy that I am finally realizing it myself!

Post-Op Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy

An apology for my girls, an education for me

I remember when my girls were born, such little angels.  So helpless.  As I have written before, I still thought they were helpless before the Mastectomy.  Over the last 52 days since, they have shown me how wrong I was, how much they have grown.  I debate with myself if this “growth” was good or forced because of  my surgery and will therefor have a negative impact.

From time to time I feel I owe them an apology.  The other day was one of those days.  Maybe with the surgery tomorrow, my mind has been swirling a little more that I thought.  The apology went a little like this:

I know this summer has not been what you had both hoped for and for that I am sorry.  I know that you would rather have been doing a hundred other things instead of taking care of me.  I am sorry for that and I love you both very much! Megan quickly jumped it with:  ” No problem mom.  If I understand  what you told us you did this so you would not get sick.  So if you do not get sick then you will be around when I have children and I need you to be around because I don’t even know how to hold a baby”.  To which Madison jumped in with “me either Megan, do you have to keep a hand under the babies head?”

That was the end of the apology and the beginning of a 15 minute conversation about babies, holding them, diapers, baby gas and were they gassy babies.  I guess growth comes from all experiences good, bad, positive, negative, forced and intended. All are necessary and I guess the important thing is ensuring we are always there for them to talk to no matter what is happening.

 After a conversation like that I realize…they are just fine.  Perfect as a matter of fact! No matter what they will always be my babies, and I will worry about everything but they are growing into wonderful little girls!

Tomorrow is the day!  NEWPPLES!

And yes, they were both gassy babies!