I remember when my girls were born, such little angels. So helpless. As I have written before, I still thought they were helpless before the Mastectomy. Over the last 52 days since, they have shown me how wrong I was, how much they have grown. I debate with myself if this “growth” was good or forced because of my surgery and will therefor have a negative impact.
From time to time I feel I owe them an apology. The other day was one of those days. Maybe with the surgery tomorrow, my mind has been swirling a little more that I thought. The apology went a little like this:
I know this summer has not been what you had both hoped for and for that I am sorry. I know that you would rather have been doing a hundred other things instead of taking care of me. I am sorry for that and I love you both very much! Megan quickly jumped it with: ” No problem mom. If I understand what you told us you did this so you would not get sick. So if you do not get sick then you will be around when I have children and I need you to be around because I don’t even know how to hold a baby”. To which Madison jumped in with “me either Megan, do you have to keep a hand under the babies head?”
That was the end of the apology and the beginning of a 15 minute conversation about babies, holding them, diapers, baby gas and were they gassy babies. I guess growth comes from all experiences good, bad, positive, negative, forced and intended. All are necessary and I guess the important thing is ensuring we are always there for them to talk to no matter what is happening.
After a conversation like that I realize…they are just fine. Perfect as a matter of fact! No matter what they will always be my babies, and I will worry about everything but they are growing into wonderful little girls!
Tomorrow is the day! NEWPPLES!
And yes, they were both gassy babies!
1 thought on “An apology for my girls, an education for me”
All the best to you tomorrow. May your surgery be successful and with little pain!