Came into the Blog today and realized I had hit 7000 views. What does this mean? Not much really but it is a cool number! For those who stopped in to actually read something I had written thank you! For those adolescent boys searching some type of “boobie” title and happened across here…well HAHAHAHA surprise!
Tag: breast cancer risk
The mundane and beautiful feeling of normal
I am sitting and watching the Eagles game, I wonder if I will even be able to stay awake into the second half. The day started with a stop for shoes for myself and the girls, then to buy some organizational things for the kitchen and new sheets for our bed. I can not remember when we got new sheets. Then to Justice for a new outfit for school pictures this week. Lastly a stop for a new binder that Megan will need in the TAG program.
At home, time to put it all away and jump right into the organization projects. First put the new sheets into the washer. Back to the projects, I have a “junk” counter where everything collects. It is a tiny stand alone counter in a corner that is really not good for anything kitchen related so it became the home of my purse, bills, binder full of insurance paperwork etc from my surgery, all supplies office/school related, glasses, phone charger, tissues etc. The ever going list is why it was time for some way to attempt to organize. This along with another little project took about 2 or so hours. By the time I was finished it was dinner time.
After the dishes were cleaned up, outside for some Halloween decorating. Back in grab the sheets from the dryer and put them on to the bed, love the feel of the sheets first day on the bed! Bath the little one, get snacks ready , sit for reading time with Madison, blink and realize the day is all but over.
AHHH, normalcy. For as tired as I am after a day like today, it is still a nice feeling. Just a few short weeks ago my activites were still restricted due to the mastectomy. Even when I was released to normal activity I could not imagine pulling off a full day of activity. It is nice to be basically back to normal, whatever that means. I never have a day where I am not reminded of the mastectomy (and I do not mean the obvious). I still have the ever present tightness in my abdomen and the scar has really become irritating. The newpples are still uneven and one remains twice the size of the other. Wearing a bra is still not my most favorite thing but I can get through most of the day without an issue. I can finally lay on my sides for a short while in bed which is a welcome change.
I dread the thoughts of another procedure in my future but I know that is will be minor in comparison to the past two. Almost there!
Difficult Questions
I continue to be amazed with the depth and intelligence of my own children. Although I continue to heal, I am not 100%. It is no secret to the girls that I am not fully comfortable. They are aware that my body is still changing. I am trying to get things back to a normal daily routine but all they have to do is see me while I am changing and it is clear that we are not fully back to normal.
Megan is pretty easy to read. She wears her feelings on her sleeve so if something bothers her it does not take long to identify it and get it out into the open. Madison, she is a totally different animal! Things come flying out of her like missiles out of the blue. The other night, I was putting her to bed. We go through our normal routine, which in itself is very structured. Madison has certain things she has to say and have said to her nightly. As I give her one last kiss she looks up at me and says, “Mommy, will Megan and I have to have our boobies operated on when we get older?”
I was caught so off guard! Although I do my best not to lie to my girls, sometimes there is no good truthful answer. The honest answer is, I just do not know but it is highly probable. They have two grandmothers who past due to metastasized breast cancer and a mother who according to all of the doctors involved, would have been a breast cancer patient at some point had I not had the Prophylactic Mastectomy.
I gave her a hug and told her that we did not need to worry about such things. As I walked out of her room, I admit I had a few tears. I would do anything to protect them! I guess reality is that for as much as I want, I will not be able to protect them from everything. Over time, I will seek out advice and take any and all steps needed. It never ends!
Decisions for my Family 