Tag: decisions

Happy (yet strange) anniversary

Happy-Anniversary-si3577dI just received a “happy anniversary” note from WordPress.  It made me think for a minute. Indeed it was a year ago that I started this blog to help clear my mind and prepare for surgery.

One year ago the decision was made. A decision to remove a part of my body that I believed would become dangerous.  My mind was set on a decision that would change my life forever.

One year ago is important in my history because it changed me as a person, I put into print what was swirling through my mind setting the course for what would happen over the next many months.  It was not always easy but ever second was worth it!

One year ago I made the smartest decision in my life! The pathology report several months later proved, had I not made this decision, well nothing is 100% but lobular carcinoma in situ sets forth a dangerous course which would never have been found via mammogram.

One year ago seems like a lifetime ago.  I wonder what the next year will hold?

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Unfocused anger

The other day I had an angry visitor to my site who took offense to my post Go sell your Drama somewhere else. This person felt I was being mean and “attacking someone on a blog that was supposed to be about breast cancer”.  What is interesting about that is the post in question is written about me and how I have changed how I respond to negative influences on my life.  Second, at no time have I stated that this is about “breast cancer.” My header gives a brief description,

 “What would you do if presented with a 50-50 chance of developing breast cancer? That is exactly what happened to me. This is my journey to peace of mind.”

 “About this page”  goes more in-depth about the beginnings of this blog.  Over time I discussed my preparation for a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy, the surgery itself, the impact it had on my family and myself and the decisions I have made and the effect those decisions had on my family and myself.  As I began to get back to normal after my surgery, I discussed how the experience changed me and my intention to continue the blog and focus on my family.

Over time I received the support of many tremendous people, many of those women who either were strong survivors of cancer or like me able to make preemptive decisions to prevent cancer.

This blog has been a sounding board, a type of therapy to clear my head.  A place to meet others and share ideas.  If that offends someone well, for lack of a better thought, tough!  In this great land of the free,you have the right not to read my scribblings.

To that visitor, I hope you find some peace from what ever it is that angers you so that you feel you must lash out at things that you do not seem to understand and that honestly are unimportant in the greater scope of what seems to weigh on you to cause such anger.

Thank you to my friends, family and those who have offered support along the way!

If I only had a crystal ball

The way I see it, life is really about making a few good decisions at the right time.    For me I will say my job change was a very important decision made. I took a significant pay cut and loss of title in doing so. I was mocked by many around me.    I was even counter offered but in my heart I felt what I was doing was right.  In the end, I achieved so much more, a higher title and worlds more money.  It  allowed me to live the professional life I always thought I wanted.  It also allowed me to open my mind up to other aspects of my life, the possibility of having a family.

Changing course in my life and having the girls was a huge decision for me which may be the greatest one I have ever or will ever make.  My girls are my world!  There is no title available that could fill my life as much as seeing my girls grow and learn.

I had to go to the dentist the other day.  It was the first place where I have had to announce my recent surgery.  As I sat down, the hygienist asked cheerfully, “any medical changes since last visit?” Oh sure!

She had just turned 40.  I know that because the rest of the appointment we talked about boobs.  She was very interested in my story . What I found interesting is the fact that she also had a friend with breast cancer and a script for a mammogram yet had not made an appointment.  She told me that her doctor had ordered it as a baseline when she had her appointment a few months ago and had just not gotten around to making the mammo appointment. Did I think it was really that important?  My eyes must have done something because she sat back allowing me to sit up  to answer.  I had my first mammo  in my early 20’s.  Do I think it is important…ugh hell yes!

Decisions, what to eat, wear, is getting a mammogram today really that important?

Having a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy I am sure will turn out to be at the top of my good decisions list.  With the pathology results, I don’t even need to list why.

I almost want to call my dentist office to see if she has made her appointment yet.  Had my mother gone earlier?  But you can’t go back you can only look at all of the information at hand and make what you hope will be the right decision, one that 20 years down the road makes that list, the list of the few great decisions I made in my life.