Tag: diep flap

Waiting for the call….

As 2012 began to wind down, my mobility had returned to almost normal.  Three surgeries were now a thing of the past, just a memory.  The scars from the bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and DIEP flap procedures were healing nicely and the aches were improving with every day.  I began to set my sights on 2013 and a new start, one without worries about cancer risks or surgery.

Then came a visit to the gynecologist in October.  Based on the findings of lobular carcinoma in situ during the BPM, the doctor felt it would be smart to have a pelvic ultrasound due to the link between breast cancer and ovarian cancer.

On November 7, 2012, my thoughts of a worry free 2013 quickly came to an end when complex cysts were found in my right ovary.   January 14, 2013 I repeated the ultrasound hoping for improvement but found worse news.  The cyst was still there and larger, one was now also located on the left and something was seen in the lining of my uterus.  Worry free 2013 was long gone! A biopsy was performed as was a CA-125 blood test.  Both came back showing no cancer.  Instead the item on the uterine lining looked to be a polyp.  An endometrial ablation was recommended.  I decided to wait until a third ultrasound could be performed so we could make a decision about the cysts at the same time.

April 2, 2013 I went for that final ultrasound.  After I did something I do not normally do, I made a list of questions.  I was done having ultrasounds every few months and wanted to be ready for a real conversation about moving forward. Questions such as, Do we remove the cysts in the ovaries at the same time as the ablation? Do we remove an entire ovary or both?  Do we go fully radical and remove it all?

I was prepared for everything except for what came next.  The call came along with the normal pleasantries, how was our trip to Disney?  How was I feeling?  Although I do personally like my doctor, I wanted the results.  She stated with a long “WELL”, I was a bit nervous.  She continued, “the cyst on the left is gone, and the one on the right has reduced in size”. Ugh, what?  Gone?  The words swirled for a second in my head until I finally realized, this was good news!  I actually said to her, “well that is good news, right?” No more ultrasounds!  Not so good news about the uterine lining which showed a new cyst/polyp but we already knew that would not correct itself.

SO, I have a pre-op appointment at the end of May to prepare for the endometrial ablation.   My list of questions went onto the trash. In the greater scheme of where I have been and what I was expecting, a minor surgery! I would much prefer to stay out of hospitals yet, compared to the alternatives, I am pleased, and thankful!

An unsolicited comment :-)

I saw someone today that I have not seen in a few months other than a drive by in a car accompanied with a quick wave.  Right around my surgery her father passed away so her own life was very chaotic. I ran out to get the mail this afternoon without a coat and this friend was driving by and stopped.  The normal niceties were exchanged followed by a wonderful statement, “you look fabulous”.  What a nice thing to be told!  The fact that I was wearing dirty sweatpants, an ill-fitting shirt with hair pulled back since I had been cleaning all day made the comment all the more special.

My surgery seems like a lifetime ago, something I never thought I would say. I have made a full recovery.  I still have some numbness in my stomach and in the noobs which may always be there. I have a terrible time with sit-ups but if I am being honest, I could not do many before having the DIEP surgery.. None of these things has any effect on daily life.

I see the scares everyday. I think sometimes I allow this to affect my mental health.  I get a little down, excuse to have the extra snack and skip the work out.  A kind soul offering a totally unsolicited (but very welcome and extremely kind) comment goes a long way to reminding myself that the scares are only on the surface.  They are a sign of a great fight and should be seen as almost a trophy. (alright, maybe trophy is a stretch). If nothing else it is a little boost to remind me of how far I have come.

What do you want?

What a question right?  I was driving along heading home from a small shopping trip and lunch with the girls on New Years eve when from the back of the car Madison asks, ” Hey Mom, what is your New Years revolution?”  I laughed both at the use of revolution and at the out of the blue question from my 6-year-old.  I thought about it for a second but had no answer.  I have not made a resolution in years.  I punted the question back to her and was faced with an immediate answer of “my revolution is to get a pony”.  Now, I did attempt to correct her wording to no avail. I also told her the thoughts of a pony would stay just that, thoughts.  🙂

It made me think though, it would not be a bad thing to set some goals, maybe identify what I want to achieve in the next year.  She is a persistent child also and would not let me get out of the car without something.  So here it is, my cliché new years resolution, I would like to be more fit and drop another 10-20 pounds.  As I have discussed before I had been working on my weight for a year prior to the mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction.  In total I have lost about 40 pounds since my peak “high”.  I really do feel so much better and would like to continue.

Since the last surgery was the week of Thanksgiving, it really threw me off of my game.  I had to limit activities for a week or so and then right into the holidays.  The hustle and bustle of getting everything ready for the holidays and of course the elliptical, walking and any other type of exercise related activity fell by the way side.  Having the kids home and sick for the last week has not helped either!  Very happy to be getting back to routine tomorrow!

SO sometimes it takes a six-year-old to help put things back into focus. It has also made me think about the broader question of what it is that I want.  There is of course the obvious, happy children and husband.  Good health, financial security but I am not sure that they answer the question of what do I want nor do I think it is an answer that I will come to sitting here typing tonight.  It is a question that I will spend some time thinking about so stay tuned, who knows there may be an epiphany.