I need a push, a jolt of sorts to get moving. Recently I seem to have an overall blah attitude. I seem to lack motivation. I did a quick google search of the word “motivation” and that indeed confirmed that I lack it!
- The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
- The general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
Today I was productive, changed sheets, did laundry and took the vacuum apart and cleaned it up. Very exciting! During the week I did the shopping and other needed activities around the house. Everyone got to practice and lessons and everyone had meals provided daily. Outside of the normal necessary things, I did nothing. Not only did I not workout, I could not stop eating these tasty jalapeno potato chips that were on sale. That makes for a bad combination. I am very proud of the 40 pounds that I lost and can not allow myself to slide backward.
So my head tells me a change needs to be made. Now to get my body to get on board! I need to get focused! No more chips, I can not be trusted if they are in the house ;-). I believe the weather has a big roll to play in my mood, grey cold and dreary. A nice sunny day would be helpful but I can not make excuses. Tomorrow I will start with a small step, one onto the scale. From there I commit to time on the elliptical machine. After that, well let’s just take it slow :-).
Back in May I posted a page called Reality Hits. Those feelings after walking into the Oncologists office a year ago, both fear and empowerment. Seems like a life time ago! Today I was on my elliptical machine sweating up a storm, thoughts swimming in my head, when it finally started to hit me…I have a new reality! I will not get breast cancer (alright nothing is 100% but 93-95% is not bad at all!) I will never have another mammogram or breast MRI. I started to feel empowered again! When I finished my workout I tooted my own horn with my FB post..(which is not like me honestly):
Exactly 4 weeks ago today released from a one week stay in the hospital after a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy. A 20+ inch incision across my abdomen. TODAY a 20 minute high impact elliptical workout followed by 5 minutes on the punching bag…DAMN right I am proud of myself!
So much time agonizing over the thoughts of cancer…gone. Then, the validation of my decision to have the mastectomy when the pathology reports hit.
So I understand that I am not ready to run a marathon, but I remember about two weeks ago getting stuck on my back on my own bed, lying there like a turtle. I also fully grasp that I will have a set back on 8/24 when I have the surgery for the nipple reconstruction and revision, but for now I will do what I can to get in somewhat decent shape before then.
The new reality is not too bad at all!!