The 4 weeks post BPM

So after a weekend of taking it easy, this morning the girls and I headed out for a nice walk for me and bike ride for them.  It is already pretty warm out but it really is a nice way to start the day when for the rest of it you are basically trapped.  We came in, grabbed some nice cold water and I am sitting quietly.  My abdomen does not really cause much discomfort anymore.  The only problem there is the pure weakness which I realize will take time to rebuild.

The issue is with the boobs.  I am still not allowed to wear a bra.  I honestly don’t know if wearing one would even help…I would probably just complain about have to wear it all of the time.  The odd shape and uneven size is a factor..I still feel like I am growing boobs under my arms especially on the left side.  That one is still at least a full size if not larger than the other one.  The right one though for some reason tends to ache more.  Go figure.  I still have some oxy’s left but don’t want to take them unless pain is really bad.  On the other hand, Tylenol/Motrin are not always enough to deal with the pain/ache.  I see the doctor tomorrow.  I want to ask if there is something else he can give me that is not as strong as the oxy but has more kick than the Motrin.  Funny I feel strange asking for more pain meds but I guess that shows that I am not some pill head…if I were guess I would not care about asking.

So the bike shorts I had been wearing have all gotten too loose..which is pretty cool to be honest.  I bought an actual abdominal wrap to keep as tight as possible.  My girls are great because the both grab an end and help me get it on even and tight.  They really have been wonderful helpers!

It is strange to think about, 4 weeks ago today I was still in surgery with my bilateral prophylactic mastectomy.  I would emerge in terrible pain I remember complaining about my shoulder the most. From what I understand, I was on the table for a bit over 12 hours with my arms straight over my head…in my own head I figure I was kind of supermanish.  Drains seeming like they were everywhere.  Monitors that would not stop beeping…oxygyn continually because I seemed to forget to breath from time to time with all the pain meds.  The joys of being surrounded by nurses 1-2 times a day for my “shift and raise” that was always a good time.

To be where I am now just 4 weeks later is an amazing testament to modern medicine.

I have my fingers crossed for my appointment tomorrow.  I so hope that we get the date scheduled for the final phase of this process.  Please please!!!!!

2 weeks and moving forward

The house is quiet….the cherubs have gone to spend a few days with my sister.  She has wanted them to visit for a while now and with the recovery the time seemed perfect.  I feel bad that they were just stuck sitting around with me, and honestly they have been driving me crazy!  My sister lives at the Jersey Shore (not the Snookie shore).  It should be a fun couple of days for the three of them…I hope :-)!

So some updates. My abdominal incision is really healing nicely.  Still very sore on the left side because of that annoying ever-present drain but other than that very pleased with the way that it is healing.  The boobs are another story.  They are growing more and more uncomfortable with each passing day.  I think there are two reasons for this, first the swelling is going down so the feeling is coming back and they have been through a lot!  I think the other reason is a bit self-induced.  I really tried to be the super woman and go oxy free.  I think that also may account for many of the tears lately.  I realize that maybe being the martyr is not good for anyone.

My mobility is progressing nicely.  I can lift my right arm fully above my head and the left is close.  Thankfully my back is also feeling much better.

I tried to shower the other day.  I was cleared to do such AS LONG as I was able to keep the remaining drain completely dry.  I really really wanted to shower. I tried to cover it with plastic but was still concerned the tape would give.  Instead of a full shower I had to just use the handheld shower nozzle…still the best washing I have been able to manage but I would really love to stand under the running warm water of a shower!  I am back at the doctor Wednesday and high hopes that the drain comes out.

I am still wrapping my head around the fact that after all that agonizing waiting, two weeks ago today I had a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy.  And if that was not enough, at the same time had my abdomen cut from one end to the other , (DIEP Flap) in order to  “relocate”  flesh to build the newbies.  And although I have had periods of self-pity, sadness and  moodiness  I and fully aware of how well I am healing and fell totally empowered and in full control of my future!