While other celebrated Independence day last year, I laid perfectly still in a hospital bed,  IV’s and monitors attached everywhere.  Glass walls ensuring not a second of privacy. Less than 48 hours removed from a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and DIEP flap surgery,  I laid in the ICU with crazy beeping machines and alarms because my heart rate continually dropped too low due to excessive (yet needed) pain medications.

I did not yet realize the struggles I was about to face in recovery.  I was not aware that my husband had moved a bed into the family room for me.  I did not think about how many additional surgeries would follow.  At the time I lived 10 minutes at a time. That is how long it took before the little green light on my hand-held pain button would light up communicating I could once again push for a dose of Dilaudid.

Tomorrow I see my surgeon and will be released from his care.  A final ending to this extremely long chapter in my life.  It has been a life changing set of months.  It has made me a better mother and wife.  It has helped me put things into better perspective as to what is really important in life, my family.

I am both lucky and truly blessed.


Hello everyone and thank you for the love and positive thoughts.  Frank brought me the laptop today so I could give a brief update.  They took me off of the pain pump which was a bit of a shock to the system.   For the first time I felt real pain today.   My nurse and were not on the same page but I think we have worked that out.

I moved to an actual floor last night and they did say If I wanted to I could go home.  Based on our little pain mishap this morning I think it shows we were not quiet ready for home. I think that will happen Sunday.

So MOnday was surgery and of course there was no bed available so I spent the night in the PACU which worked out great since I had 1 on 1 attention.  Made it to the ICU Tuesday with the instruction absolutely NO movement!  Woke up Wednesday to the same no movement instruction.  Then around 3 pm I was told we were moving on to the floor.  It has been a big change.  More mobility, I am about to take a walk in the hallway with the girls.  They are so excited.

I think he enjoyed updating the blog!