First day of school, bras and need for the weekend


The long-awaited, heavily anticipated day finally arrived, the first day of school!  Thankfully, both girls had a great day.  We had some struggles last year with Meg’s teacher so she was worried heading in but came home thrilled.

Madison was ready to go at 7am this morning although the bus was not until 9am.  She loved that she got 30 minutes alone with us between her bus and Megan’s. She was so great, bus came she looked at me waved and said “bye Mom” and up the steps she went.  I knew she would be like that so I made her give me a big hug before we went down for the bus.  She waved happily from the window as the bus pulled away, then I was alone.  Walking home I might have shed a little tear but part was sad that my babies were growing up but the other was just how proud I am of who they are becoming!

Since I had to go to the bus stop this morning I got up and  took a shower, my first full shower in two weeks which felt wonderful! I got dressed including a bra. I put on an old sport bra which is pretty close to the right size.  I am still so swollen on the sides it is hard to tell what size I really am.  Due to the incisions under my arms and the bruising I still have from the lipo, I can only express my feelings on wearing the bra as down right painful.  And since I have to be a fully functioning member of society I must remain narcotic free during the day.

Frank  stopped at VIctoria Secrets yesterday on his way home as a surprise.  I have not been able to shop there in years due to size.  I still have the steri strips so I will save my new fancy bra for a few days. I cleaned out my drawer yesterday and in doing so realized I was a 40 DDD prior to surgery.  No wonder I had such back issues!  I know that each day will be a little better.

I need to get my stamina back up.  I am wiped out! Bus stops, laundry and some other things around the house, dinner and soccer practice should not do me in like this.  The highlight of my day was getting home taking a vicodine and getting my bra off…ahh the little things in life!


New nips and lots of pain

And finally it is over!  According to my surgeon, everything was a success.  I can not judge because I am wrapped up tight and told under no circumstances can I peek for at least a week.  We did discuss before hand that it would be necessary to cut pretty extensively in order to complete the revision surgery on the boobs.  Again, I can not tel how large of a cut but I think I feel every inch and I am not enjoying the pain.

My friend Oxycodone came home with me again and as I type I am waiting for one to take effect.

Further updates will follow.  For now, a nap.

The “New” reality hits

Back in May I posted a page called Reality HitsThose feelings after walking into the Oncologists office a year ago, both fear and empowerment.  Seems like a life time ago!  Today I was on my elliptical machine sweating up a storm, thoughts swimming in my head, when it finally started to hit me…I have a new reality!  I will not get breast cancer (alright nothing is 100% but 93-95% is not bad at all!)  I will never have another mammogram or breast MRI. I started to feel empowered again!  When I finished my workout I tooted my own horn with my FB post..(which is not like me honestly):

Exactly 4 weeks ago today released from a one week stay in the hospital after a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy. A 20+ inch incision across my abdomen. TODAY a 20 minute high impact elliptical workout followed by 5 minutes on the punching bag…DAMN right I am proud of myself!

So much time agonizing over the thoughts of cancer…gone.  Then,  the validation of my decision to have the mastectomy when the pathology reports hit.  

So I understand that I am not ready to run a marathon, but I remember about two weeks ago getting stuck on my back on my own bed, lying there like a turtle.  I also fully grasp that I will have a set back on 8/24 when I have the surgery for the nipple reconstruction and revision, but for now I will do what I can to get in somewhat decent shape before then.

The new reality is not too bad at all!!