So long 2012

With the end of the year approaching, everywhere you turn you see recaps.  I did a medical recap not too long ago and quit honestly am not too interested in reliving this year.  Instead I am looking fully forward to what I hope will be a better year.

Making a statement like that always makes me pause for a second because of how close I was to cancer (according to the pathology reports).  I had the bilateral prophylactic mastectomy to prevent cancer since I was high risk but until we received those results showing cancer markers, well we had no clue just how close I was.  So, with that said the end results made 2012 a good year I suppose and I guess I should recognize that good.

The hope for 2013, well they are filled with no surgery, no medical scares and good times with my family.  I do need to get through the follow-up Ultrasound next week to check on the complex cyst.  Hopefully that shows that it took care of itself and onward we will move.Disney Trip October 22-29, 2011 627

One super bright spot that we have all been looking forward to for some time is our trip to Disney World!  We are in the home stretch and can begin an official countdown in the next week or so.  My girls do love official countdowns :-).  We are all really looking forward to this trip!  We are staying at The Animal Kingdom Villas-Kidani, right over the Savannah.  How thrilled with the girls be seeing the animals come close to the balcony.

My crew in Animal Kingdom October 2011.
My crew in Animal Kingdom October 2011.

Since we are staying in Disney we also did the meal package.  It is nice going and knowing that almost everything is prepaid.  We will be dinning with the Princesses, Mickey and crew, Chip and Dale and at the new Be Our Guest Restaurant.  Planning this trip, making the dinning reservations were a nice distraction while I was recovering from surgery.  Finally coming close to the actual experience  knowing how much we are all looking forward to it, well what can I say that Disney does not?  It is the happiest place on earth!

The “New” reality hits

Back in May I posted a page called Reality HitsThose feelings after walking into the Oncologists office a year ago, both fear and empowerment.  Seems like a life time ago!  Today I was on my elliptical machine sweating up a storm, thoughts swimming in my head, when it finally started to hit me…I have a new reality!  I will not get breast cancer (alright nothing is 100% but 93-95% is not bad at all!)  I will never have another mammogram or breast MRI. I started to feel empowered again!  When I finished my workout I tooted my own horn with my FB post..(which is not like me honestly):

Exactly 4 weeks ago today released from a one week stay in the hospital after a Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy. A 20+ inch incision across my abdomen. TODAY a 20 minute high impact elliptical workout followed by 5 minutes on the punching bag…DAMN right I am proud of myself!

So much time agonizing over the thoughts of cancer…gone.  Then,  the validation of my decision to have the mastectomy when the pathology reports hit.  

So I understand that I am not ready to run a marathon, but I remember about two weeks ago getting stuck on my back on my own bed, lying there like a turtle.  I also fully grasp that I will have a set back on 8/24 when I have the surgery for the nipple reconstruction and revision, but for now I will do what I can to get in somewhat decent shape before then.

The new reality is not too bad at all!!

Day 18 Post OP

So made more progress on our Disney trip!  We will be staying at the Disney Animal Kingdom Villas-Kidani Village. I booked both the park tickets, dining plan and air transportation.  We decided after the year that we have had that we are going all out on this family vacation! Disney is still a company who understands the importance of customer service.  I spoke with a gentlemen, (Dante was his name) who was just fantastic.  I even spent the time to take the survey after to make sure I told them so..everyone takes the time when the experience is bad we all should make sure to say when it is good!

What is funny is when he asked “so how is your summer going so far?”  Of course he is just making pleasant conversation while waiting for the computer to process reservations.  What ran through my head was, well very busy to be honest Dante.  I recently spent a week in the hospital where I had my breasts removed and then refilled with fat from my abdomen.  I have an enormous amount of stitches that run from on end of my stomach to the other and my boobs are really a sight to behold.  NOW, people who know me know that often things will fly out of my mouth sometimes without thinking and other time just to get a reaction.  But in this case, I held back and gave the standard, “not too much”.  I wonder how our interaction would have changed had I given my actual thoughts as the answer?

Some people think that I am insensitive in how I discuss my surgery.  If I offend anyone I am sorry and it is not my intention.  I also realize I can not relate to anyone who has cancer and has been forced into certain decisions.  For me, especially after now having the final pathology reports know that I made the right decision.  The boobs are only flesh that can be pretty easily replaced…bottom line is that had I not removed them they would have eventually tried to hurt me!

Not too much to update today…the abdomen continues to heal nicely.  What a beautiful incision.  The boobs hurt still.  My mobility continues to improve.

My girls come home from their shore vacation today.  I have missed my babies!