More surgery

We have a date for the next round of surgery, November 19th.  I am referring to it as either “tieing up loose ends” or “the clean up”.  My surgeons scheduler chuckled a little but I don’t think either of us thought it would be a good idea to refer to it in such a way to him.  The consent is calling it, “revision of bilateral reconstructed breasts and revision of abdominal scar”.  I think it should really say revision to the revision but hey who am I?

It has been over 3 months now since the Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy and DIEP flap surgery and almost 2 months since the nipple reconstruction.  This has been a long process.

SO more blood work, another early morning arrival at the hospital, more anesthesia.  I wonder if I will miss all of the coordination, tests, scheduling and recovery  once all of the procedures are over? (KIDDING!)  I am glad that we have this scheduled, one step closer to finished, I hope!

ON a different note, Madison lost another tooth today and it happened at school.  She was so excited when she got off the bus wearing the tooth necklace given to her to secure the tooth.  It was almost like she knew it was going to be a special day.  When she woke up she requested to wear a “pretty” dress and “high heels”.  I see a visit from the tooth fairy this evening! 

Welcome to the modern age!

I started this blog when Frank bought me the MacBook that I have fallen in love with and use daily!  I had never been a fan of Apple, that is until I broke down and bought an iPhone.  Even after the phone purchase, I was very resistant to leave my comfort level with Windows  until the frustration level with viruses boiled over.  We had spyware and antivirus programs on every computer yet we killed several in a rather short period of time, the blue screen of death.

So with my love of my laptop and the last of our PC’s crashing last week, the trip to the apple store was inevitable.  The newest addition to the house is the iMac which I set up in the family room so I can keep and eye on what the girls are searching.  We had a Netflix account where we received the DVD as one was sent back.  Now we are streaming…I feel so high tech! My husband and I were like little kids playing with the TV watching you tube videos, the kids looked at us like we old.  It is amazing, I watch my 5-year-old and she can work any gadget you put in front of her.   I did not even touch a computer until a keyboarding class in high school.  In college we all sat in the computer lab fighting over the one crappy dot matrix printer and now we sit streaming personal videos on TV…cool and scary at the same time!

Anyway, busy week of doctors appointments this week.  The long awaited follow-up with the plastic surgeon is first followed by the dreaded yearly at the GYN.  I am still trying to connect with my doc about the blood work I had done last week.  Message was that my cholesterol was high, not unexpected.

Still trying to finish up any and all procedures needed before the end of the year.  The window is closing, Guess time flies when you’re having fun….

“Brave” revisited

Since the beginning of this entire process, at least the beginning of telling other people what decision I had made regarding my health, the decision to voluntary have my breast removed in order to not become a cancer statistic, I have lost count of the amount of time I have been told how brave I am.  It comes in different forms, brave, strong, how much people respect me, etc.

I find these comments to be as strange now as I have since the beginning. I posted a page called “Brave” in June and I am left with the same question today as I had then, is it brave to do the only thing really available to possibly prevent cancer and extend your time? I remember the day I got the call with the pathology report, “My holy shit day“, I was numb.  That call was the reality staring me in the face of what would have been had I not had the surgery.  The basic guarantee that within the next few years, a cancer patient.

In some ways I feel pressure,  I have always been the strong one.  Even when I worked, I was sent into situations that needed to be fixed.  I was the one who dealt with the “problem” employees, implementing unpopular changes or the tough decisions.  Honestly, I like to be in those positions.  I like a challenge but this is different.  There have been many days when I have felt like pure shit yet someone texts or sees you near the mail box and the last thing they expect to hear from me is the truth. I don’t mean that to sound bad, I mean it makes me feel good that people look at me this way, just sometimes I guess things are not always as they appear.

So, Brave?  Running like hell away from something I saw running toward me? To me the only decision I had to make. But if my story can help someone, inspire someone well good!  Take control!

Two more days until Newpples….

Took the girls to the salon today for back to school cuts.  I think they enjoy it just a bit too much.