Funny…brave is defined by Webster as:having or showing courage brave soldier> <a brave smile.  As I began to tell friends what was happening and the decision I had made, one of the first things that repeatedly came out of people’s mouths was how brave I was to make such a tough decision.  I still find that kind of funny…am I brave or is it that the simple thought of developing Cancer sends me into pure panic?

The next question is if I am scared?  That is also an interesting question, not because of the question itself but because of my inability to answer it.  I should be scared right?  I am about to undergo a 14 hour surgery which will permanently alter my body. On the other hand  if I do nothing the experts and statistics tell me that I will develop Cancer.  I guess an honest answer would be that I am nervous.  I am concerned about how my 5 and 7-year-old children will handle things.  I and concerned that things may not go as planned during the surgery.  I worry about the recovery afterward.  As for scared?  I do not believe that I am at least not 3 months out from the surgery.  I guess we can revisit this question as we get closer.

4 thoughts on “Brave?”

  1. Wow. 14 hours. I hear you loud and clear. I was 13 hours for my neurosurgery last July and that fact still makes my head spin (no pun intended). With my genetic condition (Cowden’s Syndrome) I am at 85% for breast cancer, right on up there with BRCA. So, the PBM is right coming up soon for me too…but I Just cannot stomach another surgery at this time (the year mark is July for my neurosurgery). Scared. Yes. Worried. Yes. Brave? I don’t care for that word either…because people would say how strong I was..and my response to my Mom was, “Well what other choice do I have?” – to lay in the fetal position in the corner? I’d sure LIKE to do that but that’s NOT an option!

  2. Exactly! I still do not feel brave…I just feel like someone who is lucky enough to have a chance to prevent cancer so I have to grab it, I mean I have no other choice. I wish you all the best in your future and will keep you in my thoughts!

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