Since the beginning of this entire process, at least the beginning of telling other people what decision I had made regarding my health, the decision to voluntary have my breast removed in order to not become a cancer statistic, I have lost count of the amount of time I have been told how brave I am. It comes in different forms, brave, strong, how much people respect me, etc.
I find these comments to be as strange now as I have since the beginning. I posted a page called “Brave” in June and I am left with the same question today as I had then, is it brave to do the only thing really available to possibly prevent cancer and extend your time? I remember the day I got the call with the pathology report, “My holy shit day“, I was numb. That call was the reality staring me in the face of what would have been had I not had the surgery. The basic guarantee that within the next few years, a cancer patient.
In some ways I feel pressure, I have always been the strong one. Even when I worked, I was sent into situations that needed to be fixed. I was the one who dealt with the “problem” employees, implementing unpopular changes or the tough decisions. Honestly, I like to be in those positions. I like a challenge but this is different. There have been many days when I have felt like pure shit yet someone texts or sees you near the mail box and the last thing they expect to hear from me is the truth. I don’t mean that to sound bad, I mean it makes me feel good that people look at me this way, just sometimes I guess things are not always as they appear.
So, Brave? Running like hell away from something I saw running toward me? To me the only decision I had to make. But if my story can help someone, inspire someone well good! Take control!
Two more days until Newpples….
Took the girls to the salon today for back to school cuts. I think they enjoy it just a bit too much.