It’s all in a Bra

As a pre teen many young girls with visions of the perfect cleavage will take matters into their own hands and add to the bounty that nature provides or in some cases fails to provide.  My own young girls talk often of the day they will have boobs.  Let’s be honest, in the view of society, they are the “visual” things that makes a woman.  MIllions spent each year on the perfect bra, marketing telling every woman that is what makes you “sexy”.

For well over a year after the mastectomy and DIEP surgery, once I could finally wear a bra, I was limited to one that was padded.  Even after a year of healing, scars can still cause a good amount of discomfort.  As I would look in the mirror I felt like some teenager who was trying to increase what nature had provided.  The difference here as we all know is that what nature provided to me had plans to attack.  What I have instead is created by amazing plastic surgeons.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time.  The perfect bra, no lining, no padding. For the first time in almost a year and a half I can look in the mirror and see only me. I am comfortable in my own skin.  I am happy with the reflection in the mirror, other than the few pounds I could stand to lose 🙂 but hey who doesn’t right?

Everyday since July 2, 2012 there has been a “new” something.  Since that date I have achieved many milestones.  I remember first being able to finally sit up without assistance, and the first time walking around the block with the girls.  There was lots of pain, many tears and worlds of relief knowing I made the right decision.  This milestone may not seem like much to many but to me, it is about comfort and confidence and therefore huge.  And shopping in VIctoria’s Secret again in pretty cool also 🙂

It has been a long week

I am tired.

I have been to the pediatrician twice this week, had a follow-up with the plastic surgeon and an endometrial biopsy all while the hubby has been out-of-town for work.

It could always be worse!

So, I had my little one home sick today with fever and sore throat.  Thankfully does not seem to be strep so just keeping her loaded up with Motrin and we will wait it out.  Megan continues to have sinus issues, an ENT visit is probably in the near future.  I need to get both of them healthy in the next 35 days…that is the official Disney countdown!  Tomorrow is my nieces birthday and the girls have been looking forward to it since we found out the date.  It is to be a bowling party.  I will evaluate everyone’s condition in the morning.  I hope to be able to go for at least a little while.  FIngers crossed.

My visit with the plastic surgeon was uneventful.  I am still not fully finished with him.  I still have some discomfort from the scare line on the right side.  We agreed to one more appointment in 3 months to make sure that scare settles.

The biopsy was also pretty uneventful.  I do not know if I have a high pain threshold or after the experiences of the last years surgeries, the many years of breast biopsies or child birth but it was really nothing.  It seems that they schedule for at least 30 minutes and often get a bunch of whining, squirming and requests for breaks.  Since we did not have any of that we finished pretty quickly so with the extra time the doctor drew the blood work for the CA-125.  That saves me a trip to the lab!  We did discuss the lack of reliability of the blood work and she explained that it is just part of the puzzle.  I get it and agree.  The blood results should be back next week, 10-14 days on the biopsy.  Until then, I have plenty of other things to think about.

It’s raining it’s pouring but it is beautiful

Well I just made what I hope will be the last appointment involved in this “medical” chapter in my life.  I will ring in the New Year with a follow-up pelvic ultrasound to check on the complex cyst that was found a few weeks ago.  Doesn’t that sound fun?  Everyone says “oh no problem” and I hope that is the case.  It is none the less nerve racking after a year and a half of appointments, scans, blood work and three surgeries.  I can not actually fully wrap my head around the thoughts of it all being over.  One can only hope!

I have my follow-up with the plastic surgeon tomorrow.  Things have healed nicely since last weeks revision.  All new incisions were made on the older scare lines and other than the revision on the left breast, the incisions are almost healed.  I do still have some pain from the left breast.  After the second surgery, I was not happy with the size of the new breasts.  He made incisions all the way under my arms to correct.  The left side did not heal well.  It left a wedge looking area.  That was corrected and looks great but it was probably the largest of the revision areas this round.

I still feel that the newpples are not fully level BUT I am accepting the fact that they probably were not before the surgery.  I can’t say that before hand I ever spent much time in front of a mirror staring at them which has become a past time recently.  I am sure that it is just something that only I would notice and it is nothing worth undergoing another surgery to correct.

This all started  for my family.  As it has played out it has changed my life in so many ways.  The most important is the way I view my family.  I enjoy every minute, every smile and I do not take them for granted.

My baby waiting for the bus this morning in the rain.