Tag: post mastectomy

Shopping?

 

I went shopping today, kind of.  I was going to go out and buy a few things.  I have been looking so frumpy in my baggy clothes.  I decided to take a walk first and while doing so I had some time to think about what I needed.  That is when I realized, I had absolutely no idea where to start.  So when I arrived back home  I decided I should do a quick inventory of my closet.  Between the massive reduction in boob size, and the lifestyle changes I had made over the last year or so, I have lost 40 pounds, 15 of it since the surgery.

It turned out to be a very productive afternoon and one of the best shopping trips I have ever had and I never left the house.  I did not realize just how much weight I had gained.  I guess I just kept pushing things to the back of the closet as they got tight, hoping some day they would once again fit.  Well, happily that day is today!  I honestly can not remember the last time I cleaned out my closet.  I found things that I do not think I ever wore.  I also found some old favorites that I could not even get on let alone button a year ago that will now be entered into normal rotation.

I am very sore tonight from all of the trying on of clothes.  I took everything out and tried it.  I of course had to keep a bra on the entire time.  The “girls” are not happy tonight, probably the most uncomfortable I have been in a few weeks.

My wallet was thrilled with the luck we had today!  I was not looking forward to a big shopping bill especially since I am not exactly sure if I have reached my final size.  My surgeon said it would take months before my body finished shifting (for lack of a better word) .  I also am so pleased with how I am both looking and feeling that I have been inspired to maintain a daily exercise regime.  I am up to about 150 sit ups a day on top of either a long walk or some time on the elliptical.

Amazing it was just 2 months ago that I could not get myself out of bed.  The important thing now is to keep it up!

 

Difficult Questions

I continue to be amazed with the depth and intelligence of my own children.  Although  I continue to heal, I am not 100%.  It is no secret to the girls that I am not fully comfortable.  They are aware that my body is still changing.  I am trying to get things back to a normal daily routine but all they have to do is see me while I am changing and it is clear that we are not fully back to normal.

Megan is pretty easy to read.  She wears her feelings on her sleeve so if something bothers her it does not take long to identify it and get it out into the open.  Madison, she is a totally different animal!  Things come flying out of her like missiles out of the blue.  The other night, I was putting her to bed.  We go through our normal routine, which in itself is very structured.  Madison has certain things she has to say and have said to her nightly.  As I give her one last kiss she looks up at me and says, “Mommy, will Megan and I have to have our boobies operated on when we get older?”

I was caught so off guard!  Although I do my best not to lie to my girls, sometimes there is no good truthful answer.  The honest answer is, I just do not know but it is highly probable.  They have two grandmothers who past due to metastasized breast cancer and a mother who according to all of the doctors involved, would have been a breast cancer patient at some point had I not had the Prophylactic Mastectomy.

I gave her a hug and told her that we did not need to worry about such things.  As I walked out of her room, I admit I had a few tears.  I would do anything to protect them!  I guess reality is that for as much as I want, I will not be able to protect them from everything.  Over time, I will seek out advice and take any and all steps needed.  It never ends!

76 days post BPM, 23 days post reconstruction

Been a little since I did a surgery followup.  The actual bilateral prophylactic mastectomy was On July 2, followed by the nipple reconstruction and revision on August 24.

The reconstruction was completed at the same time via a DIEP flap procedure.  After many weeks of initial struggles with core strength, I am fully able to move as I wish.  I am at the point now where I do sit up crunches every night.  At first only 10 or so now 100+ .  I also either walk or spend some time on the elliptical machine a few days a week. I still have tightness in the abdomen but it is a good tight. I am stunned at the change of size in my abdomen.  I am not on the scale of Barbie but it is by far the flattest stomach I have seen in many years.

I do still have discomfort in the breasts.  The breast revision was much large than initially expected.  Due to the size of the incisions and amount of surgery performed, I still have a hard time wearing a bra.  I feel that I need to wear one if I am going out in public, ie back to school nights, shopping, soccer etc because of the nipple issue.  As I had stated in an earlier post, the surgeon had to make the nipples large to allow for shrinkage.  One of them has and is about right.  The other has not and still reminds me of a strange little thumb like appendage. He has assured me that if needed this can be corrected very easily.  They are also a bit out of line which I am also told is a an easy fix.  So it does look like we have a small procedure ahead.  I see him again mid october.

I do look forward to a day when I have no discomfort but have accepted the fact that the day is not around the corner.

I am thrilled that my life for the most part is getting back to normal, but one highlight of my day does still remain the bra removal.

I have lost close to 40 pounds since my max weight 1 year prior to surgery.

My Bra size is 4 sizes smaller and pant size is almost 2 sizes smaller.

More importantly is the fact that I feel good and have used this situation as an attempt to live healthier.  Most importantly is the fact that I have gone from a minimum 50/50  chance  of developing breast cancer to one of only about 5%.

**(post pathology with the finds of cancer markers, the risk would have increased but no one ever put it into number for me)