Tag: prophylactic mastectomy

More waiting

533629_395555573861729_660755664_nSo for as much as I was hoping to leave the medical headaches of the last year in the last year, I had to go for the followup pelvic ultrasound today.  A million and one people have told me not to worry about it and for the most part of have been able to put it out of my head but those million and one people did not just finish recovering from a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy.  I hate that today is Friday since I will have to wait through the weekend to hear anything.  I would like to believe those million and one people but what has me going today was the length of the ultrasound itself.  This one was more than twice as long as the first.  Now, I understand that sometimes things can not be seen as well and there are many factors including the tech doing it but none of these things can negate the fact that after the last year I am on edge and very much sick of it all!

Now we wait.

What do you want?

What a question right?  I was driving along heading home from a small shopping trip and lunch with the girls on New Years eve when from the back of the car Madison asks, ” Hey Mom, what is your New Years revolution?”  I laughed both at the use of revolution and at the out of the blue question from my 6-year-old.  I thought about it for a second but had no answer.  I have not made a resolution in years.  I punted the question back to her and was faced with an immediate answer of “my revolution is to get a pony”.  Now, I did attempt to correct her wording to no avail. I also told her the thoughts of a pony would stay just that, thoughts.  🙂

It made me think though, it would not be a bad thing to set some goals, maybe identify what I want to achieve in the next year.  She is a persistent child also and would not let me get out of the car without something.  So here it is, my cliché new years resolution, I would like to be more fit and drop another 10-20 pounds.  As I have discussed before I had been working on my weight for a year prior to the mastectomy and DIEP reconstruction.  In total I have lost about 40 pounds since my peak “high”.  I really do feel so much better and would like to continue.

Since the last surgery was the week of Thanksgiving, it really threw me off of my game.  I had to limit activities for a week or so and then right into the holidays.  The hustle and bustle of getting everything ready for the holidays and of course the elliptical, walking and any other type of exercise related activity fell by the way side.  Having the kids home and sick for the last week has not helped either!  Very happy to be getting back to routine tomorrow!

SO sometimes it takes a six-year-old to help put things back into focus. It has also made me think about the broader question of what it is that I want.  There is of course the obvious, happy children and husband.  Good health, financial security but I am not sure that they answer the question of what do I want nor do I think it is an answer that I will come to sitting here typing tonight.  It is a question that I will spend some time thinking about so stay tuned, who knows there may be an epiphany.

Brave…the movie

While I was in the Hospital after my  prophylactic mastectomy, Frank and the girls went to the movies to see Disney’s Brave.  I remember when they got to the hospital the girls hugging me and telling me that they all cried at the movie. I was not too aware of the plot.  The girls told me that they thought of me when the princess almost lost her mommy which is why they cried.  Frank compared me to the momma bear.  I was intrigued  but I was still on the pain pump so details of any conversation from that time period are a bit hazy but it stuck with me for several reasons.  One because I was happy that they were out doing things together.  Another because whatever had struck them about the movie caused them to talk which is something that the girls did not often do with their father.  This movie was an important bonding time for the three of them that has continued nicely to this day.

Since the movie was important to them, especially to Madison, I wanted receiving it to be just as important.  For Christmas, 120530_XX_MeridaBraveEX.jpg.CROP.rectangle3-largeMadi received the DVD and a play set that included both Princess Merida and Angus (her horse).  She was very excited!  Usually when we get a new movie there is a big rush for the girls to watch it but not this time.  The three of them agreed that we all needed to watch it together.

So today was the day.  I made hot chocolate for the girls and I and the four of us settled in for movie time.  The girls even took turns sitting on my lap, which is not normal nor it is easy these days with their sizes.

The movie was very good!  There were no tears this time but I understand imageswhy there were the first time.  In the movie due to decisions made by the princess, the queen is turned into a bear and unless the bond that was broken can be repaired, the spell will not be able to be reversed and her mother will be lost forever.  She needs to be Brave to save her mother and protect her from hunters while trying to reverse the spell.  Even in her darkest day with hunters upon her, the momma bear still protects the princess fully knowing that she is in the situation because of her daughter. My baby girls explained that when they saw it while I was in the hospital, they thought of me as the Brave momma bear who they would never want to lose and that they needed to protect me.  Pretty cool!

As I have stated many times throughout the process, the babies who I was so worried about somewhere right in front of my eyes grew into beautiful, caring young girls.  I am so proud of them both!

And as a movie review, I would give Brave 2 thumbs up!  A great family movies that can spark even better life lesson conversations!

brave-movie-poster-2012-1020750699