Frustrated and upset-4 weeks post BPM

So with each passing day I feel stronger, healthier and more able to return to normal life.  Then I attempt to do so and something happens that just smacks me in the face and says “no sorry you are weak”.  I am 4 weeks out of surgery, home for three. I don’t know what I expected and I have nothing really to judge against.  I feel like I should be fully functioning (not at the gym or carrying heavy items but normal life)…am I wrong?

SO what was the most recent slap you ask?  I have still been sleeping in the bed Frank had moved to the family room with several pillows behind my back (so basically a 45 degree angle roughly) and one on each side under my arms to keep me from attempting to roll over.  I still do not find the steps comfortable so I try to keep them limited.  Frank came home from New York so I went upstairs with him to talk while he unpacked.  I sat on the bed and took the pillows to place under my arms to see how much room I would take on the bed seeing if I could start to sleep back in my own room, bed with my husband.  Since I had put the pillows down to be by my sides there were none behind me so when I went to lay down I dropped like a rock.  I could not hold myself up at all and then to add insult to injury I laid there like a freaking turtle on it’s back and could not get up, stuck and on the verge of tears!  WTF!

I need help…to my blog friends, IS this normal, I mean am I progressing  normally? Am I behind?  Am I crazy?  DO I need to chill out?

I can’t stand this! I mean I knew I would not be ready for the olympic team but I did not think that at the 4 week mark I would still be stuck trying to rise from a simple flat position.

5 thoughts on “Frustrated and upset-4 weeks post BPM”

  1. RELAX! Your surgery was much more complex than mine and it still took several weeks for me to maneuver myself out of bed. Our bedroom is on the first floor, but those were the most miserable hours of the day, unable to do anything but lie awake with muscle spasms across my back. I honestly do not remember at what point I was able to sit alone out of bed, but I do remember the mind progressing faster than the body. Baby steps. You are doing great!

  2. This was totally my normal, Christine. 4 weeks seems like a lot of time when you’re frustrated and impatient. But it’s really a short, short period of time for all of your body to recover from such insult. It took me a long time to maneuver in and out of bed without pain, probably closer to 6 weeks. I had a lot of swelling and discomfort on my left side and it carried on for what felt like an eternity. I am 4 months out from my stage 1 surgery, and I still have tightness/discomfort in my abdominal incision when I do certain things. It’s still uncomfortable for me to try to lay on my belly, but I can do it. But only for like 5 minutes.

    Give yourself a break and proceed with caution! It will all start to settle in about another week or so (if not sooner)! Be sure to take care of yourself. The pent up frustration in combination with pain is exhausting. It is much better to baby step your way through recovery then to try to take leaps and bounds before you’re ready and really set yourself back. And that comes from total experience!

    Best wishes and soft hugs your way.

  3. I did not have major surgery like you did, but I did have a lumpectomy, sentinel node removal and port placement in one surgery. 3 incisions. I wasn’t really given any restrictions and less than a week after my surgery I drove myself around to do errands. I ended up bursting into tears in a store. After that I learned to pace myself and listen to my body throughout the course of treatment. I don’t think there is a “normal”. Your body has undergone a major shock and you are healing. Baby steps. You’ll get there.

  4. Your core muscle strength is the culprit here. Rebuilding is slow and cannot be rushed. The first time I got on the floor after surgery to do some simple stretches I got stuck! I had to pull myself up on a nearby loveseat. I felt like a beached whale. I know you are sick of hearing this, but give is some more time. It will get better.

  5. Thank you all! I know that I am healing well but I am not known for my patience level. I am a just get it done type of person and am going crazy not having the ability to get it done. I have come a long way…I know that! I guess sometimes you just need a gut/reality check and the only folks who can really do that are those who have had similar experiences. Thank you all for taking the time to chime in..I do appreciate it and will TRY to relax. 🙂

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