Author: decisionsformyfamily

I am a married mother of two beautiful girls. Due to family and personal history I had an over 50% chance of developing breast cancer and refused to be a victim. On July 2, 2012 I underwent a bilateral prophylactic mastectomy with full reconstruction.

“I love you mommy”

Christmas is just 7 days away, I check the lists, hope everyone will be pleased with what “Santa” brings.  I run around attempting to make everything perfect, make everyone happy.  After the family goes to sleep I wrap presents, even built a bike last night.

It is so easy to get sucked into the “greed” of the holiday.  Retailers opening earlier and earlier in response to people who just have to get that whatchamacallit before everyone else.  Wallets and credit cards pushed to the limit in an attempt to keep up with the neighbors.

As the hustle of the season ramps everything into high-speed, as we rush here and there often passing each other in the hall, it is important to keep things in perspective.  It hit me last night, so simple, so innocent and so sincere.  As I dropped my girls off to CCD class, Megan stopped for a second, turned and said, “I love you mommy”.  Those words, no greater words have ever been spoken!  Sometimes the stresses of life can feel a bit overwhelming but how often do we add to those stresses by placing unrealalistic expectations on ourselves?IMG_4905

“I love you mommy” words from an angel who owns my heart.

It’s all in a Bra

As a pre teen many young girls with visions of the perfect cleavage will take matters into their own hands and add to the bounty that nature provides or in some cases fails to provide.  My own young girls talk often of the day they will have boobs.  Let’s be honest, in the view of society, they are the “visual” things that makes a woman.  MIllions spent each year on the perfect bra, marketing telling every woman that is what makes you “sexy”.

For well over a year after the mastectomy and DIEP surgery, once I could finally wear a bra, I was limited to one that was padded.  Even after a year of healing, scars can still cause a good amount of discomfort.  As I would look in the mirror I felt like some teenager who was trying to increase what nature had provided.  The difference here as we all know is that what nature provided to me had plans to attack.  What I have instead is created by amazing plastic surgeons.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time.  The perfect bra, no lining, no padding. For the first time in almost a year and a half I can look in the mirror and see only me. I am comfortable in my own skin.  I am happy with the reflection in the mirror, other than the few pounds I could stand to lose 🙂 but hey who doesn’t right?

Everyday since July 2, 2012 there has been a “new” something.  Since that date I have achieved many milestones.  I remember first being able to finally sit up without assistance, and the first time walking around the block with the girls.  There was lots of pain, many tears and worlds of relief knowing I made the right decision.  This milestone may not seem like much to many but to me, it is about comfort and confidence and therefore huge.  And shopping in VIctoria’s Secret again in pretty cool also 🙂

Family time

UnknownThe Holiday season has officially begun tonight with the first of the season broadcast of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”.  The 7-year-old demanded that we watch it as a family.  As the time neared we all settled in.  The little one is working on a bracelet with her rainbow loom, Meg is laying with her favorite little bear,appropriately named “bear”, the dog is in the middle of the floor chewing on her bone while the hubby has fallen asleep.  I sit here typing.

Family time is nice time.  It does look a little different than it did as I watched Rudolph as a kid.  I remember searching the TV listings circling the date and times of the specials.  If you missed it when it was on there was nothing to do but wait until next year.  I told the girls this as the show was about to start tonight to which I was told “that much have been tough”.  Smartass kids.  Last year our DVR was filled with specials, until I realized that they were shown several times on several stations over the season.  This year we printed what seems to be a pretty complete list of holiday shows.  It is over 3 pages long.  I love the season but can not commit to seeing them all! 🙂

The ability to chill out in pj’s with an almost 50-year-old Christmas special with the people you love, well it does not get much better now does it? I remember watching this very show with my mother.  I wonder if my girls will be sitting in a living room 30ish years from now watching with families of their own.  I guess I will have to make a note to  make sure I write a blog post while sitting with the grandchildren watching Rudolph.  Wouldn’t that be wonderful?!