Refocus needed and received

I woke up fully comfortable with the decision I had made  last night not to have the colonoscopy.  I had convinced myself that my doctor was just over reacting.  I allowed myself to slip into my “victim” mode  tired of tests, scans and surgery. I feel like the last year of my life has been spent in labs, hospitals and doctor’s offices.

Then I read comments from some women whose opinions I have come to respect over the last many months.  Sometimes it just takes a little slap in the back of the head to get refocused.  Seems I have needed a few of those over the last week or so.   I jumped on the computer did some doctor searches and have made my consultation appointment for the end of the month.

How silly am I being?  (not really looking for an answer :-)) I have been so lucky, I know that and I am very thankful! I am also thankful to all of those around me willing to give me those slaps from time to time.

Thank you ladies for the refocus!

Ugh Colonoscopy?

I went to my primary doctor today for the first time in a few years.  All went very well, blood pressure was 100/70 so that blip before the mastectomy was just that, a blip.  After stepping on the scale I can officially say that I am down 40 pounds from my maximum weight and very pleased.

Here is my dilemma of the day, after the doctor wrote me out a script to get a full blood panel  done she tossed in a comment that I may want to have a colonoscopy done.  She said there is a slight increased risk of colon cancer with breast cancer.  BUT I did not have breast cancer.  I would have eventually probably but I did not.

I came home and did some investigation and just don’t know if I really need to do this test now.

It just never ends!

Pink Pink everywhere

Every year it spreads a little more, pink ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness.  But as we are all aware, it is not just ribbons.  It is cleats on professional athletes or bats and gloves.  I went to an office supply store yesterday and felt compelled to buy a pink pen placed on the counter.  My  husband bought a 5 hour energy that was also wrapped in a pretty pink label.  I have some socks with pink ribbons, they sell apparel of all types as well as those plastic bracelets I don’t think there is really anything that has not jumped into the pink arena.  Even the local pet store seems to be “aware”.

I have become a very cynical person in my older age.  I Would just love to believe that all of this money raised in the name of awareness actually went to research for a cure.  Imagine, a future where we would not need to worry about the ever worsening breast cancer statistics, for that matter cancer statistics in general.

CEO’s of these charities making massive six figure salaries, third-party calling centers keeping large percentages of donations for “fees”.

I would love to believe that by the time my girls are old enough I would not need to worry about answer the question that Madison asked a few weeks ago, “Mommy, will Megan and I have to have our boobies operated on when we get older?” I can only hope they will not have to ever know the word mastectomy in theirs lives.

Maybe I am wrong, I pray that I am.  Millions of woman and an increase number of men are counting on it!