It’s all in a Bra

As a pre teen many young girls with visions of the perfect cleavage will take matters into their own hands and add to the bounty that nature provides or in some cases fails to provide. My own young girls talk often of the day they will have boobs. Let’s be honest, in the view of society, they are the “visual” things that makes a woman. MIllions spent each year on the perfect bra, marketing telling every woman that is what makes you “sexy”.

For well over a year after the mastectomy and DIEP surgery, once I could finally wear a bra, I was limited to one that was padded. Even after a year of healing, scars can still cause a good amount of discomfort. As I would look in the mirror I felt like some teenager who was trying to increase what nature had provided. The difference here as we all know is that what nature provided to me had plans to attack. What I have instead is created by amazing plastic surgeons.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time. The perfect bra, no lining, no padding. For the first time in almost a year and a half I can look in the mirror and see only me. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am happy with the reflection in the mirror, other than the few pounds I could stand to lose 🙂 but hey who doesn’t right?

Everyday since July 2, 2012 there has been a “new” something. Since that date I have achieved many milestones. I remember first being able to finally sit up without assistance, and the first time walking around the block with the girls. There was lots of pain, many tears and worlds of relief knowing I made the right decision. This milestone may not seem like much to many but to me, it is about comfort and confidence and therefore huge. And shopping in VIctoria’s Secret again in pretty cool also 🙂

What if……

I recently got into a conversation with someone in which I once again talked about my surgical history with the bilateral prophylactic mastectomy. I share my story often and openly in the hopes that it may help someone else. I am typically met with some amount of shock followed by questions which are usually the same. Interestingly one of the first tends to be “was it painful”. Other typical questions surround BRCA testing, family history and what lead me to make the radical decision I did to have the mastectomy.

So, back to the most recent conversation. For the first time I was asked the question, “what if you made a mistake and the surgery was not needed.” I found that to be an interesting question especially since lobular carcinoma in situ(LCIS) was found. Even after discussing the pathology this person stuck to the yeah but “what if” question. A quick reply was what if I did not and 5 years down the road I was diagnosed with Breast cancer?

I do not live in “what if”. This is why I had the surgery. I never wanted to look back with regret. SO to help land my point I tossed out a few other what if questions.

What if the Declaration of Independence was never signed?

What if Martin Luther King had never been born?

What if women never gained the right to vote?

What if we had never pushed the norms of technology?

All of these questions sound just ridiculous. Life is all about decisions. They are not always easy or comfortable and there will always be someone standing off to the side just waiting to second guess or challenge. I am not sure if I swayed the person’s opinion nor do I really care to be honest. You make decisions everyday, at the end of it all you can only hope you made more good than bad.

A busy week and medical advances

The summer has officially ended in our house with the yearly closing of the pool. There are still some very warm days in the forecast like today’s heat in excess of 90 degrees, but once school starts there is just not enough time in the day. Speaking of school, the fist day was a success for all! Both girls had great days especially our new first grader.

The first day seems like a life time ago already. Saturday morning was picture perfect. Although there was a slight chill in the air, the sun, high in a bright blue sky was warm and comfortable. Our day started with a season opening soccer game with the youngest at 9am. At her age they play 2 fields of 4 on 4, open goal. This is my husbands first year coaching soccer and the first time most of the girls have played together. There were many bright spots. A little girl who just could not keep herself from picking up the ball mid play was not necessarily one of the brightest but the season looks to be fun none the less.

The look of a 3-0 shut-out to start the season!

The travel game with the older child was much better. I think what made this game so much fun was the fact that over the last year we sat through many (emphasis many) bad, down right ugly soccer games. With Megan as the full-time goal keeper this year we feel extra pressure to ensure she plays her best. Saturday the entire team stepped up and played the best game we have seen them play as a team. The final score was 3-0..first game of the year and first shut out of what we hope will be a wonderful soccer year for Megan and team.

The week is flying by with time split between my few hours at the school doing cafeteria and playground duty, soccer practice, karate and everything in between. How quickly our lazy days of summer have been filled with days that just do not have enough hours.

On a totally different note, I caught a few minutes of the news last night as I was getting dinner ready for the girls. The story was about a new pump to help to identify breast cancer up to 10 years sooner than with current methods. I do not know how much data they have collected on it or how accurate it is but I would like to believe that such advances are true and reliable. I think about my young daughters and the very real high risk possibility that they face of breast cancer. I can only hope and pray that the advances continue so by the time my babies have to face tough decisions, like me they will be lucky enough to be able to act proactively.

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