The list begins

On my continued search for “what I want” I think I have begun to develop some thoughts maybe even a list.

1-I would like to worry less about well everything. In my head I am fully aware that I can not control everything, even most things. This is what causes the worry. I wish I could live life and just allow it to happen. This will require work!

2-I want to smile more. 2012 was a rough and at times very painful year. The year leading up to it was possibly even more scary since that was the year of abnormal biopsy and breast MRI. Now with the pelvic Ultrasound results, I am heading for yet another biopsy Thursday. I feel like I have been under a cloud for a long while now and am ready to attempt to outrun it! Although the outcome has been good to date, it has been a long and stressful time that affected my entire family. I believe our Disney trip is a big part of helping this change this mood and we are all looking forward to this trip! The other night we started to pack, a little more each day The guest room is filling up with small piles just waiting to be put into a suitcase. Disney is the happiest place on Earth, we can’t wait!

3-I would love to be able to pay off my credit cards but since that won’t happen anytime soon I will again focus on #1.

This of course is not an all-inclusive list. It instead is just the beginning of one that I expect will grow and change in the coming weeks/months.

Spring in January

The calendar says January but the temperature says May. Yesterday in the middle of the winter we took the girls to the park and enjoyed what felt like the beginning of spring. Wearing only sweatshirts, Megan and I took a nice walk along the paths while Madison and Frank shot some baskets at the basketball court. We met them at the courts and played a bit. All week is supposed to be in the high 50’s or so.

I am not a big follower of the global warming crowd but after no measurable snow last winter and so far none this winter, something does seem off. (just printing that probably guarantees a blizzard)

The irony here is the fact that Frank is going away for a business meeting this week. When the location was determined to be San Diego months ago, all on the East coast were thrilled since it would be mid January and typically cold and miserable. Yesterday he received an e-mail warning them that CA is experiencing record cold and that many events are scheduled out doors and can not be changed. He was instructed to bring a coat. I know it is not nice but there is something inside of me that smiled just a little with that news. 🙂

Another day in paradise

Today was my day to help out in Madison’s class. It was fun in a strange way. I am not nor have I ever claimed to be a lover of all children. I do enjoy seeing my baby with her peers, she is such a big girl, confident, strong and proud. She seems to enjoy my being in the class and there is nothing more important to me than being there for my girls.

When I got home I decided to take a walk, clear my head a bit. Although I am trying not to think too much about the pending biopsy, it is lingering in the back of my head. The weather here is unseasonably warm. It was nice to be out. The breeze was a bit chilly but with iPod going it really did feel great to walk. At one point I felt like Forrest Gump, once I started going I did not want to stop.

The girls were able to go outside to play for a little while after school which was also very nice. I cooked out on the grill which is just crazy in the North East in January. The day all in all was not too bad, calm and nice. Then came dinner when my 6-year-old informed me that I did not have a “real” job.

Interesting even at that age the societal message has gotten through.