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A growing family

Once Frank and I decided we are going to expand our family,  my head was full, so many thoughts, will we be good parents?  Will our children sit on some couch in 30 years talking about how we screwed up their lives? But in we dove.  The decision was the easiest part.

To start with I gained over 70 pounds when pregnant with Megan.  There were many reason for this I assume. I was a smoker and quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I am sure I was a real hormonal piece of work  to be around while going through nicotine withdrawal.  I also decided that Megan liked Lemon water ice and mini chocolate donuts.  She NEEDED to have them!

At some point the pregnancy was deemed “high risk”.  I had placenta previa.  I would have to take a few days off from work each time and lay flat and not move.  I was sent for a “high risk”  ultrasound, which was code for way too long.   They  counted every limb, finger and even toe.  They searched for each organ and after almost 2 hours they determined that Megan was just fine.

I grew larger and larger, my due date came and went, I walked and grew and then walked some more.  I thought if I kept moving she would eventually drop out.  Once I was over 2 1/2 weeks late they finally induced labor and my giant 9 lb 6 oz baby girl arrived.  They quickly swept her away from me after determining that she was not breathing properly.  She stayed the next few days in the NICU. In the end, thankfully she was fine.

I loved being a mom.  We decided the Bailey clan needed another member.  My pregnancy with Madison was pretty uneventful.  Other than being huge massive and extremely uncomfortable, it went pretty smoothly.  Once Madison was born, my Megan seemed to be taken over by a very unhappy little person that I did not know.  There were some complications during delivery with Madison so they converted to an emergency C-section.  I ended up in the hospital for several days.  During visits Megan would not talk to me or sit with me and she wanted nothing to do with her sister!

Things are so much easier with the second child.  By the time I left the hospital, the nurses had already had Madi on a decent schedule.  She was such a pleasant baby.  Good eater, good sleeper and for the most part little fuss.  It did not take long for Megan to warm up to her sister.

Watching them together was and is wonderful.  They get along beautifully.  Of course they argue at times but they are the best of friends and think of each other always.  If either is away from the other and offered anything, they ask for one for the other.  They are my world.

Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?

Me, the early years

When we were young, my mother wanted us to get the best possible education.  She wanted us to do better than she did in life. The public schools in our area at the time were not very good.  She went to our church  parish and asked for tuition help.  My mother was a Catholic born and raised.  We went to church every Sunday.  I never fully understood her belief since they felt she was a bad Catholic because of her divorce, but week after week we went. For the help with tuition,  we all worked.  I raked leaves at the convent, cleaned desks in the school over the summer and moved things between classrooms.

It taught me all an important lesson in life, nothing in the world is free!  If you are to succeed, the road is not easy.  If you are not willing to put your back into it, work hard, success does not come.  This is a lesson my husband and I are trying to instill in our girls.  It is tough these days with the media generation and immediate gratification.  We are able to give our girls many of the things neither of us had as children.  We often battle with the “what is too much” line.

In 5th grade they were a bit worried about me. I was a latch key kid.  Back then leaving young kids alone was not as frowned upon as it is today. I had a strong imagination. Idle time and I were not the best of friends. I had a wonderful teacher by the name of Helene Kunicki who kept me after school many days.  I would help her do whatever, clean out closets, move desks.  Spending time with her helped close the gap before my mother would get home from work.  She was a wonderful woman who through a simple act of kindness probably helped change the course of my life by keeping me out of trouble.

My mother ruled with an iron fist.  There was none of this “mommy friend” thing we see so much of today.  She was the boss. In hindsight it is easy to judge her but I saw a woman left to raise 3 children alone.  A woman limited professionally due to her own background and single motherhood.  A woman who battled cancer for 10 years.  It is always easy to judge when you do not have to walk in that persons shoes.

The rules in our house were clear!  If your grades were down there was nothing else, period.  By high school I had begun to excel and when I graduated college I did so on the dean’s list.

As I look back at how we were raised, I wish many things would have been different.  But such is life.  She was far from perfect but I am glad for many of the life lessons I learned . Those early years leave an impression of course but as time goes on each person must make a decision.  What type of person do I want to be?  What will I hold on to and what must be left behind? Will I allow the not so pleasant moments to be baggage or fuel to do better?

Life is all about decisions.

Blogs, boobs and the future

I have been communicating via this blog for roughly 5 months or so.  I started as an outlet for my feeling surrounding my upcoming Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy.  I found great comfort in the support of others who were in similar situations.  I hope I also provided some for others.

I continue to recover but for the most part the roughest parts are behind me.  I have completed the nipple reconstruction and revision and have been cleared for regular activity.  Although still sore, each day gets easier and more normal.  Today was a day of laundry and food shopping, can’t get much more normal than that! 🙂 I will see the doctor again in 6 weeks and may need 1 more small procedure but nothing to the scale of what I have been through the last few months.

SO, now what?  I enjoy the outlet the blog provides.  I named it Decisions for my Family but initially had a header of Boobs don’t make the Woman. A few weeks ago the blog went through a face lift and I dropped the “boobs” title.  I will continue to write the blog about things that affect the most important thing to me, my family.

This summer’s surgeries have changed me as a person and will be a constant foundation for many of my decisions.  In my situation, a reminder of how important actually making a tough decision is as well as  the impact of such decisions on everyone around me.

I have not fully decided what the future of the blog looks like and may not fully define the parameters.  Quite honestly there are no parameters it is truly a wide open topic.  From the upcoming election which I feel is the most important in my lifetime, to continued updates on the boobs.  There will of course be many words describing the most beautiful things in my life, my girls, my husband, my family. The future is thankfully, wide open!