Tag: mastectomy

The mundane and beautiful feeling of normal

I am sitting and watching the Eagles game, I  wonder if I will even be able to stay awake into the second half.  The day started with a stop for shoes for myself and the girls, then to buy some organizational things for the kitchen and new sheets for our bed.  I can not remember when we got new sheets.   Then to Justice for a new outfit for school pictures this week.  Lastly a stop for a new binder that Megan will need in the TAG program.

At home, time to put it all away and jump right into the organization projects. First put the new sheets into the washer. Back to the projects,  I have a “junk” counter where everything collects.  It is a tiny stand alone counter in a corner that is really not good for anything kitchen related so it became the home of my purse, bills, binder full of insurance paperwork etc from my surgery, all supplies office/school related, glasses, phone charger, tissues  etc.  The ever going list is why it was time for some way to attempt to organize.  This along with another little project took about 2 or so hours.  By the time I was finished it was dinner time.

After the dishes were cleaned up, outside for some Halloween decorating. Back in grab the sheets from the dryer and put them on to the bed, love the feel of the sheets first day on the bed!  Bath the little one, get snacks ready , sit for reading time with Madison, blink and realize the day is all but over.

AHHH, normalcy. For as tired as I am after a day like today, it is still a nice feeling.  Just a few short weeks ago my activites were still restricted due to the mastectomy.  Even when I was released to normal activity I could not imagine pulling off a full day of activity.  It is nice to be basically back to normal, whatever that means.  I never have a day where I am not reminded of the mastectomy (and I do not mean the obvious).  I still have the ever present tightness in my abdomen and the scar has really become irritating.   The newpples are still uneven and one remains twice the size of the other.  Wearing a bra is still not my most favorite thing but I can get through most of the day without an issue.  I can finally lay on my sides for a short while in bed which is a welcome change.

I dread the thoughts of another procedure in my future but I know that is will be minor in comparison to the past two.  Almost there!

Doctors, and Dentists and blood work oh my!

As I was recovering from my surgery and the bills were coming in, I wrote a post that we all needed to get to the doctors since we had reached our out-of-pocket maximums.  Last night I was “refocused” by my daughters pediatrician to get back on track on this goal.  Years ago, I was  on meds for high triglycerides, another trait passed on from my mother.  When Frank and I decided to have another child I went off of the medication.  I also have made dietary and lifestyle changes.

Last year both of my daughters had blood work done and both came back with elevated levels of triglycerides.  I was so upset.  We reduced their fat and carb intake, went to skim milks and low-fat cheeses, and made sure to increase their physical activity.   Last night was Megan’s yearly well visit.  The doctor suggested that we had her checked to see if there has been improvement.  She then asked me if I was currently on medications.  So, here I am so proud of myself for having a Bilateral Prophylactic MAstectomy to hopefully avoid cancer and I had to look this doctor in the eye and admit that I had not even had my levels checked in a few years.  Sounds stupid right?  I am like a stroke risk just wandering through the day.

I took Megan for her blood work this morning and came right home and scheduled myself an appointment for next week.  I will have my blood work completed before the end of the week!

I have an appointment with the Gyn the second week of October, one day after my follow-up with Dr. Liu (my plastic surgeon). I am getting a cavity filled tomorrow.  Madison is scheduled for her yearly well visit in November and Frank had already been.

So back on track.  I am tired of doctors offices!

Gloomy day

Today was a beautiful day, bright blue cloudless skies, a slight breeze, temperature in the 60’s.  It was definitely a day that let’s you know that fall is here.  We decided to go out and find Halloween costumes  and do some early fall shopping.  So far sounds great so why the gloomy title?

So for me it started the other day.  Friday I did not feel well and just laid low.  Yesterday was my nephews 3rd birthday.  He was having a super cool bounce party at one of those inflatable places.  The plan was for me to take Meg to piano while Madison and Frank went to her soccer game.  My sister was to pick Madi and I up for the party because Megan had a soccer game later.  Frank and Meg would then meet us later at my brother and sister-in-laws house.  Basically a normal busy Saturday.

From the time I woke up I did not feel right.  I had a pain in my abdomen near the incision.  Piano came and went with no big issue.  I went home and made the girls some lunch then got Madison cleaned up for the party.   I was just wiped out.  I took a small nap.  By the time my sister arrived  my side was really bothering me.  I took a few motion and a Tylnol.

It is about an hour-long car ride to my brother’s.  I thought we had a nice ride chatting about this and that.  We arrived at the party just a few minutes late due to one wrong turn and one missed turn.  Madison was thrilled to arrive and was off and bouncing as we made the rounds to greet the birthday boy, his parents and sister.  There was a huge group of very well-behaved children jumping everywhere. A great time seemed to be had by all!

From there back to the house for family and friends.  My stomach was bothering me and standing seemed to really wear me out.  I was beginning to worry a bit.  As soon as we got to the house I found a nice place to sit which is not really like me. They have a friend who I have also know for years who is a doctor.  I mentioned my pain to her and she immediately said possible hernia.  She gave my abdomen a little poke and decided she could not feel anything.  I had a few beers and it did not seem to bother me as much as the night went on. 🙂

On top of everything else,  I feel a bit self-conscious these day.  I was a little uneasy going to see  people who have not seen me for several months.  Many people told me how great I looked which really made me feel good!  Others whose opinions matter to me did not say a word.  It should not matter and in the end I will get over it and it will not matter but it sucks and after weeks of pain and shit it hurts.

So that brings us back to today.  I woke up with a continued nagging ache. An overall not so good feeling and a headache on top.

I lost it a bit this morning allowing myself to fall victim to the “I am never going to feel normal again syndrome”.   At the store Madison (who has never been a fan of Halloween, strange or loud noises) had a melt down with the props and music in the store.  The Eagles lost terribly putting the husband in a mood and I guess feeling left out Megan eventually joined the “need to shed a tear and be pissed at something” club before the day finally and thankfully ended with the girls going to bed.

One bright spot is the fact that the pain seems to be fading.  I will keep a watch and call the doctor tomorrow or Tuesday if it returns. As for the rest of it, well, it is what it is.