The 4 weeks post BPM

So after a weekend of taking it easy, this morning the girls and I headed out for a nice walk for me and bike ride for them. It is already pretty warm out but it really is a nice way to start the day when for the rest of it you are basically trapped. We came in, grabbed some nice cold water and I am sitting quietly. My abdomen does not really cause much discomfort anymore. The only problem there is the pure weakness which I realize will take time to rebuild.

The issue is with the boobs. I am still not allowed to wear a bra. I honestly don’t know if wearing one would even help…I would probably just complain about have to wear it all of the time. The odd shape and uneven size is a factor..I still feel like I am growing boobs under my arms especially on the left side. That one is still at least a full size if not larger than the other one. The right one though for some reason tends to ache more. Go figure. I still have some oxy’s left but don’t want to take them unless pain is really bad. On the other hand, Tylenol/Motrin are not always enough to deal with the pain/ache. I see the doctor tomorrow. I want to ask if there is something else he can give me that is not as strong as the oxy but has more kick than the Motrin. Funny I feel strange asking for more pain meds but I guess that shows that I am not some pill head…if I were guess I would not care about asking.

So the bike shorts I had been wearing have all gotten too loose..which is pretty cool to be honest. I bought an actual abdominal wrap to keep as tight as possible. My girls are great because the both grab an end and help me get it on even and tight. They really have been wonderful helpers!

It is strange to think about, 4 weeks ago today I was still in surgery with my bilateral prophylactic mastectomy. I would emerge in terrible pain I remember complaining about my shoulder the most. From what I understand, I was on the table for a bit over 12 hours with my arms straight over my head…in my own head I figure I was kind of supermanish. Drains seeming like they were everywhere. Monitors that would not stop beeping…oxygyn continually because I seemed to forget to breath from time to time with all the pain meds. The joys of being surrounded by nurses 1-2 times a day for my “shift and raise” that was always a good time.

To be where I am now just 4 weeks later is an amazing testament to modern medicine.

I have my fingers crossed for my appointment tomorrow. I so hope that we get the date scheduled for the final phase of this process. Please please!!!!!

Frustrated and upset-4 weeks post BPM

So with each passing day I feel stronger, healthier and more able to return to normal life. Then I attempt to do so and something happens that just smacks me in the face and says “no sorry you are weak”. I am 4 weeks out of surgery, home for three. I don’t know what I expected and I have nothing really to judge against. I feel like I should be fully functioning (not at the gym or carrying heavy items but normal life)…am I wrong?

SO what was the most recent slap you ask? I have still been sleeping in the bed Frank had moved to the family room with several pillows behind my back (so basically a 45 degree angle roughly) and one on each side under my arms to keep me from attempting to roll over. I still do not find the steps comfortable so I try to keep them limited. Frank came home from New York so I went upstairs with him to talk while he unpacked. I sat on the bed and took the pillows to place under my arms to see how much room I would take on the bed seeing if I could start to sleep back in my own room, bed with my husband. Since I had put the pillows down to be by my sides there were none behind me so when I went to lay down I dropped like a rock. I could not hold myself up at all and then to add insult to injury I laid there like a freaking turtle on it’s back and could not get up, stuck and on the verge of tears! WTF!

I need help…to my blog friends, IS this normal, I mean am I progressing normally? Am I behind? Am I crazy? DO I need to chill out?

I can’t stand this! I mean I knew I would not be ready for the olympic team but I did not think that at the 4 week mark I would still be stuck trying to rise from a simple flat position.

Competition

SInce I was a child I have loved the olympics. Where else can you see some of these sports, moreover who knew some of these things were sports such as handball? This morning my girls and I have watched Badminton, ping-pong (table tennis), fencing and soccer (football). Other than soccer, these are not thing I would normally turn the channel to, but every four years we are glued to the television. Clearly as Americans it is obvious who we would cheer for if the opportunity is there. What is great about the olympics is the pure competition of it all. The US is not represented in all sports nor can they be playing in every event throughout the day. The girls need to cheer for a team so right now New Zealand is playing Brazil in woman’s soccer…Megan is rooting for Brazil…why? Who knows. I on the other hand am impressed with how well New Zealand is playing. The other day we watched Mens soccer and Gabon…(a country we had never heard of and had to look up) quickly became our favorite due to the heart in which they played.

A few weeks ago I was laying in the hospital unable to basically move. Today I am able to enjoy some sport with my girls. Funny thing is how they hear things in the news…so as certain countries were announced last night they thought it was interesting how just for a little while people are able to put outside issues aside to play a game. If only those in charge could look at things through children’s eyes. Maybe instead of war it should just be a good ole handball game…(really don’t get that sport).

Sportsmanship, heart, effort and hardwork. What a great lesson that our kids need these days.