Tag: motherhood

Watch out here we come!

What a big day!  So I ended yesterday’s post with the thoughts of driving for the first time since the surgery.  The girls both slept late because I let them stay up late Tuesday night to watch the US women’s gymnastics team win the gold medal.  I used the time to clean up, put my hair in a ponytail (which took a little effort) and get dressed.  Since I am not allowed to wear a bra and have square boobs, I went with a tank top under a baggy button up shirt.  Everyone around me keeps saying how different I look but I just have not really seen it..until I put on my shirt.  A tank top that was tight prior to the surgery  hung on me like a weird tent.  It gapped awful under my arms since the DD’s are gone.  It worked under the other shirt.  I guess I will just look unkept for a while until my body is completed…I guess the changes are that big!

So our adventure included a stop at the local farmers market for some produce.  This was a perfect stop because they also have a deli and small dairy area so could get lunch meat and milk.  After that a quick stop at the CVS for toothpaste then home.  It was not a bad trip but a little struggle.  Driving itself was not the most comfortable..the bumps still bother me and the seat belt rubs.  BUT…overall very successful trip and felt nice to be in control and out and about!  I was happy to get home and sit down but it was a start!

A small nap was needed after lunch. Then time to exercise.  I was able to do twice the amount of stretches than yesterday. Amazing how much my mobility has improved  and how much less stiff I feel after just 2 days.  A little more each day!

On top of everything else going on my Megan turns 8 in 2 weeks.  She is used to big blow out parties.  This year things will be much smaller.  Just family here at the house.  Need to get the house into at least basic company shape by August 11..a little each day like eveything else I guess.

The “pointy part”

Frank had to go out-of-town for business for a few days so it is my first time all alone for a few days.  Still can not drive so he went shopping last night to make sure we would have everything we would need.  Because of my overdoing it a bit yesterday I really had nothing left in me today.  The weather of course went back into the ugly humid 90’s and I just could not sit out by the pool in that heat so the girls were forced to play inside today.  Don’t get me wrong..they are really very good but the voices…those wonderful little voices NEVER stop.  Thankfully, a few minutes ago the knock came at the door.  There is a rag-tag little group that gets together several nights during the week right down the street to play baseball/tag whatever.  They are a mix of boys and girls age range 5-9 and a couple of the dad’s stay out to keep and eye/pitch or referee..whatever is needed.   Finally my first moment of quiet today. And a few hours of exercise and social activity for them!  Win win!

So I am still not allowed to wear a bra.  I have tried to keep the girls from seeing me topless.  Being as they are both girls I honestly have never hidden from them in the past.  I do not want them to be ashamed of their bodies. I have thought it best since things look so different that I did not want to scare them. But even with a sleeveless shirt it is pretty clear that as my 5-year-old puts it “they are not boobie shaped”.  Tonight as we were sitting here out of the blue she says to me that she can see the “hole” in my boob.  She wanted to know where the “pointy part went”.  She really is one smart cookie.  I told her the truth, for the most part.  The pointy part was part of what could have made me sick and that in a few weeks I would get a new one.  She found this to be fascinating.  Thought it was just amazing that they could just give me new ones.  I ‘ll tell you this…these are not conversations I ever thought I would be having with a 5-year-old. They asked to see…I told them my concerns and they told me that they were stronger than I gave them credit for.  Can you believe that?  So I showed them and asked what they were thinking.  They said that although it was strange it did not scare them.  They did say that they were happy that the doctor was going to replace “the pointy part”.

Wow…On top of the numerous things I have learned through this process one huge thing is that my babies are not babies anymore.  They are wonderful, smart caring little souls.  I am so proud of them both and I love them with all of my heart!

Motherhood

The worst thing about just sitting around with nothing but time are the thoughts that just continue to swirl through my head.  I have mentioned my mother several times in this blog. Although I loved her very much, I have tried to be a very different mother to my children than she was to us. She was a single parent from the time that I was a baby. I know it was not easy for her.

Growing up I don’t really ever remember hearing  the words “I love you”.  I know that she loved me  and I loved her.  But it is nice to hear the words right?  I remember when Megan was born.  I was so thrilled.  See I was a career girl and was never going to have children, that is until I had Megan and resigned from my career :-).  I could not have loved her anymore.  I just loved to hold her, hug her and kiss her.  I used to just sit and kiss her head…even told her tiny little body that there would be a million kisses up there by the time she was one. I also made her a promise that a day would not pass when I would not tell her how much I loved her!  The same held true when Madison was born and as they have both gotten a little older I encourage them to talk to us and ask questions.  This is often very interesting as other also find.  Out of the blue whatever is on Madison’s mind comes out…sometimes a little awkward but the only way to learn.

By no means am I a push over quit the countrary I am actually very strict. But  I do not want my girls to be afraid of anything and I do not want them to ever feel that they missed out!