Recently my husband had a conversation with a long time friend who told him that our relationship was something special. It struck him as a strange statement which is probably why he remembered to mention it to me. He told me about it the other night standing in our kitchen, where we have many of our chats. When he first told me how “special” we were I laughed.
Special, what a bizarre description. We are not a very affectionate couple and we are both very stubborn. If you envisioned any of those made for TV couples when I used the word “special” you would be so far from who we are. But as I have thought about this over the last few days I have decided that we are indeed very special.
We often comment to each other that it is us against the world. Things have not always been easy for us but we stick together and find a way through. We have had martial issues like many others, we fight, we disagree and at times flat-out ignore each other. Over the years we have faced many adversities and many situations where others have let us down. It would be easy to cower in a corner and point fingers listing all of them but instead we have accepted that sometimes in life you are just lucky to find that one person who will always have your back.
When I was faced with the decision to have the preventative mastectomy, Frank was my rock. He supported my decision to have such a surgery that would leave me in a hospital for a week, unable to help out for many weeks after as well as change my body forever. He did a wonderful job with our girls, dealt with the wild swings in my mood throughout the process, and set me up a bedroom in our family room. After 7 days in the hospital the first thing he did for me when we got to our home was wash my hair in the sink and shaved my legs so I could feel better before the kids saw me. Tough does not even describe how those few months were but we came though stronger and even more united. Us against the world.
Over the years many have offered unsolicited opinions about how we have chosen to live our lives. Neither of us had story book childhoods so when we decided to start a family it was very important to us to give our children something we did not have. Just yesterday I was able to catch Megan as she ran joyfully screaming from the bus stop that she had won a contest thrown out by the School Principal. Some do not understand why this is so important to us. For many years we have tried to explain that no amount of money could ever replace these years or the memories that we will all share forever, but especially since my surgery I no longer feel the need to explain. My husband and I understand and that is all that matters. Us against the world.
In the end we are basic people, home bodies who would rather sit watching a movie as a family than going out. We would rather spend time at the girls soccer games on the weekend and spend every vacation at Disney world laughing as a family. Things are not always easy but I guess that is what makes it special. Wanting to put in the time and the work necessary, that makes what we have special to me!
Decisions for my Family 