Category: Me

Clouds are clearing the sky is bright

my-cosmic-valentine-a-very-special-dayToday is a very special day for me.  The sun is shinning, the sky is blue and the temperatures are low, the makings of a wonderful day.  I got up early showered and did the normal morning routine.  Next I prepared for yet another doctors appointment this time a follow-up to the endometrial ablation done July 19th.  This may not sound very special but indeed the day truly is.  Why you may ask?

SmileThe appointment went well, things seem to have gone well and all pathology benign thankfully.  Good news for anyone leaving a doctor’s office but for me much more.  See, for the first time in over 2 years I do not have the next surgery plans in the making.  I do not even have a doctor’s appointment scheduled.  I almost feel as if I am forgetting something since I have nothing to schedule or follow-up on. My life and my check book have been consumed for so long and now a breath of fresh air.  Not so fresh for the check book yet as there are still outstanding bills but we are close.

When I say consumed I thought maybe a quick recap was in order:

June 2011 Needle guided ultrasound biopsy leads to full surgical biopsy due to abnormal results.  More abnormal results found leading to the rest of the year spent with oncologists, genetic specialists, mammograms and breast MRI’s until decision finally made.

July 2, 2012 bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and DIEP flap reconstruction.

August 2012 Breast revision surgery

November 2012 Further reconstruction and revision.  Also in November the ever interesting colonoscopy and the memorable first pelvic ultrasound.

January and March 2013 further pelvic ultrasounds leading to the ablation in July.

Doctors appointments, follow-up appointments, blood work, scans tests and calls. In between it all worry, pain, tears, looks of pity from others and stress on the family. This has been my life for more than two years. I will be honest, today I have felt a little out of sorts.  I can not explain why.  It is almost like the medical issues have “defined” me for much of the recent past.  Maybe I am a bit reserved afraid that if I get too happy about it something bad will happen.  I am sure it will pass…as the reality sets in, doctor free.  I look forward to the future, with nothing planned except maybe a Disney trip!

The more things change……

As a child during the summer we had not scheduled plans.  No camp, no arranged sporting activities and no focus on much of anything educational.  My mother was a single parent and would head off to work early leaving us much to our own devices for the day.  We each had chores that we were responsible for but outside of those we would play.   How wonderful right?  The ability to freely run the neighborhood playing carefree.  Be home in time for dinner.  We played at this house and that, we ran through the open field and the woods and would take the trail to the baseball field.  None of these areas were anywhere in sight of my house nor did anyone ever think about the need to have constant sight on us.  It was the same for most kids that we knew.

Sadly, the times have changed.  It is just not safe to run so free.  Pull up a map of registered sex offenders in your area and wonder how you could ever let your kids out of there locked bedrooms let alone the house.

Someday’s I would prefer to just hold them tight and pretend the world does not exist.  Of course that would not be healthy for anyone.  Instead I am trying to raise my girls to be strong and healthy physically and mentally. Our summer has been full.  Soccer, basketball and karate camps to keep the girls sharp physically.  Library visits to keep little minds wondering and questioning.  We went today and picked up a new round of books.  Megan grabbed the 3rd in the Sister’s Grimm series along with three others.  My first-born is plowing through 2-3 books a week, my mother would have been so proud!  I have not completed 2-3 books in the last 20 years.  I just love to watch her as she reads, as if I can actually see her mind processing what it is taking in, just amazing! Today we also took time to work on some math lessons, for Madi time telling and money and for Meg geometry.

I remember when my mother would make comments about how things had changed from when she was a young girl.  We usually tuned her out or chuckled at some of the stories.  Now I am the one saying it to my children and the laughs come from the loves of my life.  Someday they will stand in my shoes, I can only imagine what things will look like then!

 

Everything in it’s place

After my initial complaints about the surgery Friday, things did get significantly better very quickly. As I posted Friday was terrible! By Sunday life was basically back to normal, Thankfully.

Since I have been consumed with a strange organizational need.

Monday morning I dropped the girls off for the start of an all day all week karate camp.  I did some errands, went home and had some lunch.  I do not know what inspired the next move but I decided to take the time to clean out our spare bedroom which probably like many others is the catch-all room for anything and everything that does not have a home. While I was working on that project the hallway closet which can never close due to things hanging out of it continued to catch my eye so I tore everything out of it to be re-folded, organized or tossed. I can not remember the last time this closet has touched, it was long overdue!

These projects lead into more of the same with the downstairs coat closet and then the hooks in the laundry room that were hung to keep the things that would be thrown all over the house a little neater. Bags, hats sweatshirt and jackets many that do not fit or are no longer loved packed up to be moved out of the house.

As I said, I have no idea what has inspired these much neglected project to take center stage. As I sit here at the hair salon I have others running through my mind, what could be next? Maybe the drawers in the china cabinet? Could it be time to tackle our own closet in the bedroom?  Oh the possibilities are endless, not exactly exciting but certainly endless!