Category: Me

Normal? maybe I am a wimp.

I am home and sitting for the most part comfortably.  I use the term loosely and for the first time today.  I consider myself to be pretty tough with a high pain threshold.  Child birth, a c-section, multiple surgical biopsies and the massive bilateral prophylactic mastectomy and DIEP flap all added to my ability to handle more than my fair share of pain.

Why do I list this?  Well everyone heading into today gave great feedback on the procedure.  I actually know many people who themselves have had it done and the universal feeling is a wonderful long-term result and most agree that there was minimal pain involved.  As I went into the surgical center today I went in very calm and felt confident about the next few days.  Then an interesting thing happened.  My doctor came in and talked about any pain over the next few days will be nothing more than that of “normal menstrual cramps”.  After the first breast revision surgery last summer, my surgeon at the time talked in a similar way about how pain-free things would be.  I remember the awful throbbing and sever pain.  After calling his office for stronger pain meds I remember him saying that yes it had been a big surgery.

When my doc today sounded the same, I decided to be a bit more proactive and asked if I would be sent home with any pain meds.  She seemed totally taken back and informed me that she did not even have her script pad.  I quickly looked at my husband who went to the internet on his phone to find a phone number to the drug store for something to be called in.  I told her that I would rather have something and not need it than have to hunt her down over the weekend.

This brings us to the point…THANK GOD I DID!  At the hospital they talked about the fact that I have a retroverted uterus and the extremely thick lining which to me was like whatever…what it meant was the most intense cramps I have ever had!  After some Tylenol with codeine and perception Motrin I have finally reached a point of calm.  All I have to say to the doctor is normal cramps my ass and thank-you for bowing to my request for meds!

Surgery, creepers and tiny squares

The day before surgery and I did what I expect most people do, I spent the day playing minecraft.  We did have some productive moments, the kids had karate, I secured a sponsor for Madi’s soccer team and dropped the paperwork at the township building.  Fed the children and did some before surgery cleaning.

CreeperThe girls have figured out how to link all of the handhelds via wi-fi on minecraft.  The game is very silly but I have to admit it is addictive.  When I was a kid the family would have sat and played a board game.  Today the three of us sat together laughing and running around in the world of little squares.  It was fun!

I have to be at the surgery center by 8 am tomorrow.  I am glad it is early but not too early.  In a few hours it will all be over and I can hopefully move into a phase of my life where I am not scheduling the next procedure.  Over the next few weeks I instead will be focused on the planning of our first little girls sleep over.  It is Megan’s big wish for her birthday this year.  I have agreed but it will be very small, 2 of her closest friends.  I think small and controlled is best for the first. Once we get through this annoyance tomorrow we can focus on what is really important….giggling little girls! 🙂

Just a little somber this week

The joy of reading.  My mother always tried to instill it in me with very little luck.  Thankfully, my daughter has it in her blood.  As I just sat down to the laptop to begin a post about my upcoming surgery, she came from her bedroom where she has been reading for about an hour.  She just needed to fill me in on what was happening in her book.  She is reading the first book of the Sisters Grimm series and is loving it.  I just love to watch her as she describes what she is reading.  The joy on her face, the light in her eyes.  She is able to visit a world of imagination through reading that I have never been able to find.  I think we will need to make sure we hit the library again before the weekend. 🙂

So, Friday is my surgery.  The official name of my procedure is hysteroscopy and endometrial ablation.  The procedure itself it not really a concern to me.  Based on what I went through last summer with the BPM, the pain, the recovery time, this should be easy enough.  See after the ablation it will be permanent, no more children.  Now, I was not really planning to have anymore, I am 41 years old and have two beautiful, smart and busy children.  I thank God for them every day!  Since my miscarriage a few years ago I have always thought about 1 more Bailey.  I love being mommy.  I feel like my girls have grown from infant to elementary school over night.

I am thrilled with my family.  I was not looking to change it or add to it but having that decision now made final, I guess it just it has made me just a little sad.  It will pass.  I will hug my girls and my husband just a little harder and maybe a little longer this week.  Next week the girls have karate camp and soccer practice is right around the corner.  The things that will fully remind me that I am doing what I am supposed to be already.

For the rest of this week, I will allow myself to sulk just a little.