Category: My Family

Busy, busy, busy

No more pain!  Well, at least I think.  I have not done a sit up or anything strenuous since last week..  I did walk both yesterday and today with no issue.  I am hoping that the “pain” was due to overexertion.  Finger crossed!

The running continues.  Back to school night at the Kindergarten last night while the girls went to soccer practice with Frank.  CCD tonight for Megan followed by her yearly physical.  We have gotten to a point where dinner is at 4pm.

Years ago, I remember laughing at “those people”, the one’s  who’s lives revolved around the kids sports etc.  Now I am that person, and it’s not too bad.  A bit hectic.  I want the kids to be exposed to a little of everything.  Music, sports, school, family, exposure now opens worlds of possibilities later.

With that said, the day I love the most right now is Sunday! This is our only day off..no practice, no homework, no pulling here or there.  This is family day at least through the fall.  Movies, shopping, chill out with my favorite people day!  In the end, that is all that is important right?

 

Megan practicing piano today while proud daddy tapes.

Gloomy day

Today was a beautiful day, bright blue cloudless skies, a slight breeze, temperature in the 60’s.  It was definitely a day that let’s you know that fall is here.  We decided to go out and find Halloween costumes  and do some early fall shopping.  So far sounds great so why the gloomy title?

So for me it started the other day.  Friday I did not feel well and just laid low.  Yesterday was my nephews 3rd birthday.  He was having a super cool bounce party at one of those inflatable places.  The plan was for me to take Meg to piano while Madison and Frank went to her soccer game.  My sister was to pick Madi and I up for the party because Megan had a soccer game later.  Frank and Meg would then meet us later at my brother and sister-in-laws house.  Basically a normal busy Saturday.

From the time I woke up I did not feel right.  I had a pain in my abdomen near the incision.  Piano came and went with no big issue.  I went home and made the girls some lunch then got Madison cleaned up for the party.   I was just wiped out.  I took a small nap.  By the time my sister arrived  my side was really bothering me.  I took a few motion and a Tylnol.

It is about an hour-long car ride to my brother’s.  I thought we had a nice ride chatting about this and that.  We arrived at the party just a few minutes late due to one wrong turn and one missed turn.  Madison was thrilled to arrive and was off and bouncing as we made the rounds to greet the birthday boy, his parents and sister.  There was a huge group of very well-behaved children jumping everywhere. A great time seemed to be had by all!

From there back to the house for family and friends.  My stomach was bothering me and standing seemed to really wear me out.  I was beginning to worry a bit.  As soon as we got to the house I found a nice place to sit which is not really like me. They have a friend who I have also know for years who is a doctor.  I mentioned my pain to her and she immediately said possible hernia.  She gave my abdomen a little poke and decided she could not feel anything.  I had a few beers and it did not seem to bother me as much as the night went on. 🙂

On top of everything else,  I feel a bit self-conscious these day.  I was a little uneasy going to see  people who have not seen me for several months.  Many people told me how great I looked which really made me feel good!  Others whose opinions matter to me did not say a word.  It should not matter and in the end I will get over it and it will not matter but it sucks and after weeks of pain and shit it hurts.

So that brings us back to today.  I woke up with a continued nagging ache. An overall not so good feeling and a headache on top.

I lost it a bit this morning allowing myself to fall victim to the “I am never going to feel normal again syndrome”.   At the store Madison (who has never been a fan of Halloween, strange or loud noises) had a melt down with the props and music in the store.  The Eagles lost terribly putting the husband in a mood and I guess feeling left out Megan eventually joined the “need to shed a tear and be pissed at something” club before the day finally and thankfully ended with the girls going to bed.

One bright spot is the fact that the pain seems to be fading.  I will keep a watch and call the doctor tomorrow or Tuesday if it returns. As for the rest of it, well, it is what it is.

If I only had a crystal ball

The way I see it, life is really about making a few good decisions at the right time.    For me I will say my job change was a very important decision made. I took a significant pay cut and loss of title in doing so. I was mocked by many around me.    I was even counter offered but in my heart I felt what I was doing was right.  In the end, I achieved so much more, a higher title and worlds more money.  It  allowed me to live the professional life I always thought I wanted.  It also allowed me to open my mind up to other aspects of my life, the possibility of having a family.

Changing course in my life and having the girls was a huge decision for me which may be the greatest one I have ever or will ever make.  My girls are my world!  There is no title available that could fill my life as much as seeing my girls grow and learn.

I had to go to the dentist the other day.  It was the first place where I have had to announce my recent surgery.  As I sat down, the hygienist asked cheerfully, “any medical changes since last visit?” Oh sure!

She had just turned 40.  I know that because the rest of the appointment we talked about boobs.  She was very interested in my story . What I found interesting is the fact that she also had a friend with breast cancer and a script for a mammogram yet had not made an appointment.  She told me that her doctor had ordered it as a baseline when she had her appointment a few months ago and had just not gotten around to making the mammo appointment. Did I think it was really that important?  My eyes must have done something because she sat back allowing me to sit up  to answer.  I had my first mammo  in my early 20’s.  Do I think it is important…ugh hell yes!

Decisions, what to eat, wear, is getting a mammogram today really that important?

Having a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy I am sure will turn out to be at the top of my good decisions list.  With the pathology results, I don’t even need to list why.

I almost want to call my dentist office to see if she has made her appointment yet.  Had my mother gone earlier?  But you can’t go back you can only look at all of the information at hand and make what you hope will be the right decision, one that 20 years down the road makes that list, the list of the few great decisions I made in my life.