Tag: Breast cancer

Just another day

So I saw a news story today that made my stomach turn.  A woman has been arrested and charged with fraud, theft and some other charges.  It seems she told her friends and co-workers  that she has breast cancer and needed a mastectomy.  She worried about how she would pay for the surgery so they all helped out raising thousands of dollars.  One problem…she did not have cancer but instead just wanted a breast implants.  REALLY?  I so want to believe in the best in people but call it what it is…People are twisted!

Anyway….home from softball and flipped on the TV to find Pretty in Pink.  Loved this movie back when.  I feel so old when I realize it is 26 years old!  Still a classic.

Finalizing the plans for Megan’s Communion. We are having it out at a Reception hall because Frank and I are known for catastrophic events happening when we have a party.  We have had a hurricane, spikes for a tent run through our sprinkler system flooding the yard and just all around foul weather.   I got a call from the caterer yesterday asking for a head count already.  Still more than 2 weeks away.  I was not expecting that, put Wednesday as an RSVP date on the invites. I was able to put them off until next week.  Opps. Looking forward to it..should be a good time!  I love the part about just write a check and show up!

We have arrived inside of the 60 day point until the surgery.  Still too far out for an actual countdown but a milestone none the less.  In a few weeks it all starts back up, blood work and pre surgical appointments. Until then just continue to take it day by day!

Kindergarten Trip

Tomorrow is a monumental day…the day we take the tour of Kindergarten for Madison.  For me it is the day we lay to rest all questions of whether there are any babies left in the house :-(.  I told Madison that there was a real possibility that mommy could cry on the bus….she laughed at me.

It is a day of mixed emotions for me.  Roughly two years ago I had a miscarriage.  We were still thinking of trying when I found the lump a year ago.  The doctors said I could wait for the mastectomy but that did not seem like a realistic option to me…the better part of a year pregnant.  Two years of carrying a baby around.  To me the odds of developing breast cancer just continued to increase with each passing day..odds on which I would not bet!

SO tomorrow we take the tour of the kindergarten and Madi’s biggest question is will we go out to a mommy Madi lunch afterward?  I love her so much!  And yes we will go to lunch!

As I continue to watch the days pass, perspective has become a big part of my life.  I agonize watching the calendar change on one hand and on the other the talks of Kindergarten make me realize that by the time school starts the surgery will be 2 months past and recovery well underway.  Time..what a wonderfully frightening thing!

I am grateful for my beautiful girls who both went to school today with a smile on their faces and for the great work out I finally got motivated to do this morning!

About me..

When I first started posting some ramblings on here, I never really thought anyone would read it.  It was more for me I guess to clear my own thoughts.  Then some friends and family took a look. Now I realize that people outside of my own small world have taken a peek yet I have really never introduced myself, well,  other than the whole mastectomy high risk thing that is.

So here we go.

My name is Christine and I live in New Jersey.  I am 40 years old and have lived in fear of developing breast cancer for years. I have 2 beautiful daughters and a husband that I love very much. Our anniversary is right around the corner, a month before the surgery so we should go out for a ridiculously expensive dinner.

Those around me would probably describe me as stubborn and intense but usually fair.  Also, passionate and  caring but will not be taken advantage of or pushed around.

I used to smile and laugh much more than I do now.  For years I have tried to make everyone happy but am coming to realize that is part of the “smile” issue.  I am now thinking about the movie “City Slickers“…I need to find my smile.

I consider myself to be a strong person but after my kids were born would find myself crying at mushy shows, movies and even commercials that never would have had that effect on me prior to their births. I can’t dance, sing, draw or play an instrument yet my girls find me to be the most creative person alive.

I am the fixer or things, taker of pictures and keeper of memories. (we go through a lot of glue).  I am a coach of many sports, driver of the mommy taxi and chef.

One of the biggest challenges I faced over the last few years, outside of this whole mastectomy thing, was the conversion of district manager at a large retailer to stay at home mom.  At one time, hundreds of people had to listen to what I said and in the blink of an eye I had children who dared to say “no”.

I consider spell check to be one of the greatest inventions ever since I can not spell worth a damn!

I was raised Catholic, went to 12 years of Catholic school and although for the most part non-practicing I still suffer from massive Catholic guilt.

I love my family with all of my heart and for the most part do not let others opinions derail me.

And after reading the last few line realize I like the phrase ” for the most part”.  I start sentences with the word “So” very often and am sure that english professors everywhere would have a field day with a red pen on my writings.

Lastly…I long for the day that I do not look in the mirror and see the person who is agonizingly waiting, counting the minutes until the mastectomy is over.

Oh..and thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts…I appreciate it!