Tag: Breast reconstruction

My dog, solar panels and other totally unrelated items

I am very unfocused.  Could not sleep last night or for several nights before that.  Since I was younger I would have these long periods of sleeplessness.  Won’t call it insomnia because I do eventually doze off.

What is keeping me awake?

I guess we can start with the obvious and the fact that I am about to lop off a portion of my body that I have had since my teen years…much larger and more complicated of course since my kids were born.

But that is not it.  I have a beautiful 3-year-old Labrador retriever who has already had one knee surgery.  She walks with a terrible limp sometimes unable to get up from a laying position.  We are faced with the reality that she has further knee and hip issues.  There is only so much money for medical needs in this family.  She is now on pain pills 2 times a day but things do not look good.

So..dramatic subject change takes me next to a meeting we had last night.  I am no Al Gore but am trying to make better energy decisions.  When we replaced our heater we went with a 95% efficient one for a few extra dollars.  So last night we had a meeting with some solar folks.  WOW…I really had no clue.  A massive (and I mean massive) initial payout of cash will result in just a 25% reduction in our electric bill.  No more govt programs because they realize they flooded the market….so when I laugh uncontrollably I am supposed to  feel guilty as I plug my laptop in right?

Then again back to the surgery, been thinking about the after surgery things.  Getting myself prepared. Waking up in Intensive care unable to see my girls. The first time I will look in the mirror after mastectomy. Showering with the drains…living with the drains.  Swelling and pain ugh.  Having to put a bra on at some point. Patience  is not a virtue I tend to exhibit, how long before I can be fully up and around?

And just as disjointed as this all reads is how it swirls around in my head.

Approved

I guess it is official!  Received the letter from the Insurance company yesterday that all aspects of the surgery have been approved!  Strange seeing it in writing.  “Approved: Breast Reconstruction with Free Flap.”   It makes total financial  sense that they would want to approve this now.  If I had decided not to do this think about the cost.  Increased monitoring via mammogram and MRI,  increased doctor visits, the probable cancer diagnosis followed by the surgery and chemo/radiation.  They should send me a check for all of the money I am saving them!

I have been thinking about what I will look like after the surgery lately.  I am having the Tram flap procedure so in essence I will be having a bit of a tummy tuck.  There will also be a reduced top section once completed.  I had been thinking for a while about a breast reduction….never thought it would be like this! Will I recognize the person in the mirror? I have been trying to get back into the exercise routine.  I realize that this process is going to be a marathon and the better shape I am in will result in a better recovery.

We took advantage of the nice weather yesterday and got the veggie garden planted.  The garden should be in full production and auto pilot by the time I am out of commission.  I want to do my best to have everything finished by then…make life as easy as possible for my husband and the girls.  How crazy is it that in the days leading up to the surgery, I will probably be cleaning the entire house and doing extra loads of wash.  It is almost like, although I am sure they will be fine without me, I need them to need me!