Tag: family

Life changing experiences

 

So I ended my last post with the following question: Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?  What a buzz that started! :-).  In hindsight could have worded it better, it is not any type of breaking news.  Was intended to only be a lead in to the next piece of the story.

After growing up swearing I would never have children, I am so happy that my mind was changed.  I love being mommy.  It took a little while to get used to the fact that I did not leave my house to go to work. I state it that way because as a stay at home mom, it is work.  It is amazing how some people do not feel that to be true.  How many times over the years I have been asked when I was going to get a “real job” or go “back to work”.  I am blessed to be in a financial position to be able to stay home with my children.  Things could of course be easier if I were also bringing in a pay check but this is a decision that my husband and I made together for the best of our family.  It is not a decision that is right for everyone nor would I ever judge another for the decisions made for their family.  I guess that is why is angers me so when that judgement is made about me.

Late in 2009 we decided to add to the clan.  The world needed another Bailey!  I was about 8 weeks pregnant when I went to the OB for the first visit.  I was sent for an ultrasound a few days later.  During the ultrasound visit the tech informed me that my dates must be wrong.  According to measurements the baby  was only 5 weeks.  I was very sure about the dates!  I was moved to another room to meet with a doctor.  They put me on progesterone in an attempt to prevent a miscarriage.  I was to return in 2 days for blood work.

I returned and had a small, very small improvement in the blood counts.  Within a day I started to have cramping and some bleeding.  I called the doctor and got an immediate appointment.  Before I could even get there , I had a miscarriage.  To make it worse, my Madison was with me, scared, crying.  My heart was broken but the baby in front of me had to take priority.  I calmed her and we went to the doctor.  All they could do was offer support, a shoulder to cry on.  Over the next roughly 10 days I had to return every 2 days for blood work.  Of course my body could not complete the job and I had to be scheduled for a D&C.

Sad does not fully cover the feeling.  Life goes on, I had two beautiful girls who needed me. I never fully grieved, that is not who I am.  I was very sad, but it was my responsibility to get up and move on.  Once a little time passed we figured we would try again.  I really always believed we would have another child that is until June 2011.

For those who have followed the blog a while, you know that was when it all began.  I found a lump in March 2011 and by June had received the news that although not cancer, an “Irregularity” and the 50-50 breast cancer chance.  Decisions, life is full of decisions.  I so wanted another child, but what I want more was to live to see the 2 that I had grow and thrive.  I had the Mastectomy 7/2/2012.

Could I have a child now?  Sure physically I could.  In a few weeks I will be 41 years old, my husband is 43.  My body is not fully recovered from the mastectomy, DIEP surgery, and  breast reconstruction. Do I want to be 60 packing my child up for college?  And after everything I have been through to put my body through that?

I just don’t have it in me.  I have two beautiful, smart and thankfully healthy girls that I love with all of my heart.  Things happen for a reason I am told.  I love my family!

 

A growing family

Once Frank and I decided we are going to expand our family,  my head was full, so many thoughts, will we be good parents?  Will our children sit on some couch in 30 years talking about how we screwed up their lives? But in we dove.  The decision was the easiest part.

To start with I gained over 70 pounds when pregnant with Megan.  There were many reason for this I assume. I was a smoker and quit as soon as I found out I was pregnant.  I am sure I was a real hormonal piece of work  to be around while going through nicotine withdrawal.  I also decided that Megan liked Lemon water ice and mini chocolate donuts.  She NEEDED to have them!

At some point the pregnancy was deemed “high risk”.  I had placenta previa.  I would have to take a few days off from work each time and lay flat and not move.  I was sent for a “high risk”  ultrasound, which was code for way too long.   They  counted every limb, finger and even toe.  They searched for each organ and after almost 2 hours they determined that Megan was just fine.

I grew larger and larger, my due date came and went, I walked and grew and then walked some more.  I thought if I kept moving she would eventually drop out.  Once I was over 2 1/2 weeks late they finally induced labor and my giant 9 lb 6 oz baby girl arrived.  They quickly swept her away from me after determining that she was not breathing properly.  She stayed the next few days in the NICU. In the end, thankfully she was fine.

I loved being a mom.  We decided the Bailey clan needed another member.  My pregnancy with Madison was pretty uneventful.  Other than being huge massive and extremely uncomfortable, it went pretty smoothly.  Once Madison was born, my Megan seemed to be taken over by a very unhappy little person that I did not know.  There were some complications during delivery with Madison so they converted to an emergency C-section.  I ended up in the hospital for several days.  During visits Megan would not talk to me or sit with me and she wanted nothing to do with her sister!

Things are so much easier with the second child.  By the time I left the hospital, the nurses had already had Madi on a decent schedule.  She was such a pleasant baby.  Good eater, good sleeper and for the most part little fuss.  It did not take long for Megan to warm up to her sister.

Watching them together was and is wonderful.  They get along beautifully.  Of course they argue at times but they are the best of friends and think of each other always.  If either is away from the other and offered anything, they ask for one for the other.  They are my world.

Could there be room in the Bailey clan for more little ones?

Really? Totally unfocused rant

Warning, this post is following my line of thought right now which is extremely unfocused, angry and just plan all over the board.

I thought of posting a huge political rant expressing my pure disgust with the attack on our sovereign land carried out in both Egypt and Lybia.  My disgust over the initial apology issued by our embassy in Egypt to those who attacked us.  My disgust over the fact that we have no time for our allies but continue to bend over to appease those who would seek to destroy us.  The President has walked the statement back since but what does it say that the embassy felt comfortable to issue the statement in the first place?

Then I looked at Facebook and saw a post saying to put away the pink ribbons until October because this is Pediatric cancer month.  Really? So, unless it is the actual month put aside for it, we should not recognize an issue.  It seems that September is also National Preparedness Month so please get ready for any disasters before the end of the month because once October hit..no more!   It is also notional yoga month, national chicken month, guide dog month, honey month and National Hispanic Heritage Month from mid sept to mid Oct.

I had to look that up and was shocked that September was so important..there is a list for every month.  So, if I follow the direction I saw on FB this morning, does it mean I can only openly consume Chicken in September?

Really?  How about we just live.  How about an overall recognition of “Cancer” of all forms. I mean it is the second largest leading cause of death second only to Heart Disease.  Is there a person out there whose family has not been affected by it in one way or another?  Now we will fight over whose month it is?

So after the super market I put on the news for a minute before my little one got home from school.  How should I feel about a teachers union who finds it appropriate to put 350K student on the streets?  The average salary for Chicago teachers is 71K in a city that when compared to the 10 largest American cities has the shortest school day and year.  A district that only graduates 6 out of 10 students in high school.  They chant “who’s school’s, our school’s”.  Interesting.  What about the children?

NOW.. I know someone has already had a thought that I am anti teacher.  I am far from it!  I believe that like any other business, workers should be rewarded for good work.  I would have no issue with teacher making six figures if students were excelling.  I believe in reform!  Pay teachers more but there has to be a standard to which performance is measured like all other industry.  Failing school district should not be offered 16% pay raises.

Still reading?  Well thank you for sticking with my thoughts.  As a parent, I fear for the safety of my young children who have to grow up in the world that we leave them.  What do we as a nation stand for, if anything anymore?  We fight over everything, adults stooping to name calling.  I teach my children that this is bad behavior yet every where you turn this politician calls that one some offensive things.  Everyday people do it with out thought and then we wonder why the bullies are running wild in our schools.

I wish it was as simple as turning off the news but we all know it is far from it!