Tag: mastectomy

Something special?!.

Recently my husband had a conversation with a long time friend who told him that our relationship was something special.  It struck him as a strange statement which is probably why he remembered to mention it to me.  He told me about it the other night standing in our kitchen, where we have many of our chats.  When he first told me how “special” we were I laughed.

Special, what a bizarre description.  We are not a very affectionate couple and we are both very stubborn.  If you envisioned any of those made for TV couples when I used the word “special” you would be so far from who we are.  But as I have thought about this over the last few days I have decided that we are indeed very special.

We often comment to each other that it is us against the world.  Things have not always been easy for us but we stick together and find a way through.  We have had martial issues like many others, we fight, we disagree and at times flat-out ignore each other. Over the years we have faced many adversities and many situations where others have let us down.  It would be easy to cower in a corner and point fingers listing all of them but instead we have accepted that sometimes in life you are just lucky to find that one person who will always have your back.

When I was faced with the decision to have the preventative mastectomy, Frank was my rock.  He supported my decision to have such a surgery that would leave me in a hospital for a week, unable to help out for many weeks after as well as change my body forever.  He did a wonderful job with our girls, dealt with the wild swings in my mood throughout the process, and set me up a  bedroom in our family room.  After 7 days in the hospital the first thing he did for me when we got to our home was wash my hair in the sink and shaved my legs so I could feel better before the kids saw me.  Tough does not even describe how those few months were but we came though stronger and even more united.  Us against the world.

Over the years many have offered unsolicited  opinions about how we have chosen to live our lives.  Neither of us had story book childhoods so when we decided to start a family it was very important to us to give our children something we did not have.  Just yesterday I was able to catch Megan as she ran joyfully screaming from the bus stop that she had won a contest thrown out by the School Principal.  Some do not understand why this is so important to us.  For many years we have tried to explain that no amount of money could ever replace these years or the memories that we will all share forever, but especially since my surgery I no longer feel the need to explain.  My husband and I understand and that is all that matters.  Us against the world.

In the end we are basic people, home bodies who would rather sit watching a movie as a family than going out.  We would rather spend time at the girls soccer games on the weekend and spend every vacation at Disney world laughing as a family.  Things are not always easy but I guess that is what makes it special.  Wanting to put in the time and the work necessary, that makes what we have special to me!

Mark the date

keep calmI was standing amongst a group of women the other day listening to the conversation.  I am not fully sure how, but the topic of breast cancer came up.    Three of the four of us standing there lost our mothers to the disease.  As I looked around another woman close by recently lost a sister.  It is not hard to find someone who’s life has not been affected by breast cancer, it seems in my travels it is nearly impossible.

According to recent statistics, about 1 in 8 US woman will develop invasive breast cancer in her lifetime.  As you stand in a room look around, count the woman in the room. Who will it be?  With numbers like that what still astonishes me are those who do not have a sense of urgency to be checked.  Women who find it to be too much of an annoyance to have the yearly mammogram done.  For many of us the mammogram was useless.  I used to also have yearly breast ultrasounds.  If you are not fortunate enough to have a doctor who will write the scripts together you have to wait for the alarming phone call letting you know the mammo was inconclusive or even worse saw something abnormal. It is probably nothing they say but back to the radiologists for the ultrasound, very time-consuming.  Most of my lumps never showed up on mammograms.  Many times I heard it was probably nothing.  Several of those ended up in biopsy until the day when it was the beginnings of something.

dateI was able to react, to take control of my situation because I was vigilant with my screenings.  I hated it of course but a necessary thing.  I had my first Mammogram at 22 years old and my first biopsy soon after.  Mammograms, Ultrasounds surgeries and MRI’s made it clear what my future would hold.  Because of screenings I was able to seek out advice, talk to experts and make the decision to have a preventative mastectomy before ever having to face any type of cancer battle, thank god!

Complain, whine, scream if you must but make your appointments and have the screening done!  Somethings are just too important to wait!

It’s all in a Bra

As a pre teen many young girls with visions of the perfect cleavage will take matters into their own hands and add to the bounty that nature provides or in some cases fails to provide.  My own young girls talk often of the day they will have boobs.  Let’s be honest, in the view of society, they are the “visual” things that makes a woman.  MIllions spent each year on the perfect bra, marketing telling every woman that is what makes you “sexy”.

For well over a year after the mastectomy and DIEP surgery, once I could finally wear a bra, I was limited to one that was padded.  Even after a year of healing, scars can still cause a good amount of discomfort.  As I would look in the mirror I felt like some teenager who was trying to increase what nature had provided.  The difference here as we all know is that what nature provided to me had plans to attack.  What I have instead is created by amazing plastic surgeons.

A few weeks ago I decided it was time.  The perfect bra, no lining, no padding. For the first time in almost a year and a half I can look in the mirror and see only me. I am comfortable in my own skin.  I am happy with the reflection in the mirror, other than the few pounds I could stand to lose 🙂 but hey who doesn’t right?

Everyday since July 2, 2012 there has been a “new” something.  Since that date I have achieved many milestones.  I remember first being able to finally sit up without assistance, and the first time walking around the block with the girls.  There was lots of pain, many tears and worlds of relief knowing I made the right decision.  This milestone may not seem like much to many but to me, it is about comfort and confidence and therefore huge.  And shopping in VIctoria’s Secret again in pretty cool also 🙂