I saw someone today that I have not seen in a few months other than a drive by in a car accompanied with a quick wave. Right around my surgery her father passed away so her own life was very chaotic. I ran out to get the mail this afternoon without a coat and this friend was driving by and stopped. The normal niceties were exchanged followed by a wonderful statement, “you look fabulous”. What a nice thing to be told! The fact that I was wearing dirty sweatpants, an ill-fitting shirt with hair pulled back since I had been cleaning all day made the comment all the more special.
My surgery seems like a lifetime ago, something I never thought I would say. I have made a full recovery. I still have some numbness in my stomach and in the noobs which may always be there. I have a terrible time with sit-ups but if I am being honest, I could not do many before having the DIEP surgery.. None of these things has any effect on daily life.
I see the scares everyday. I think sometimes I allow this to affect my mental health. I get a little down, excuse to have the extra snack and skip the work out. A kind soul offering a totally unsolicited (but very welcome and extremely kind) comment goes a long way to reminding myself that the scares are only on the surface. They are a sign of a great fight and should be seen as almost a trophy. (alright, maybe trophy is a stretch). If nothing else it is a little boost to remind me of how far I have come.
So, I took that step this morning onto the scale. My attempt to get back on track. The results of that step were not as bad as I had expected which in itself was a little motivating! I made a commitment last night to jump on the elliptical this morning and I kept my word! I will not call it the strongest workout I have ever done but it all starts with that single step.
Tomorrow is another day…we have miles to go, one step at a time!
So after roughly 2 weeks of exercise, I really am getting stronger. I am up to 20 minutes 4 times a week on the elliptical with no issues. The other days we are trying to walk the neighborhood. I would like to work on my punching bag but the girls have destroyed it pretending they were in the olympics, that is another story but punching is out.
I decided to attempt to start abdominal work. We have this old “ab rock it” . This picture is not ours but pretty close. You hold the handles and push forward to assist the sit up. There is no way I could do them on my own but with the rocker I was able to do several. I only did a few, may try more a little later. I wanted to make sure I did not hurt anything. I have no pain from my abdomen anymore but it remains extremely tight. This is not really a bad thing, actually one of the reasons I think it is important to get working on the muscles around it so it remains tightened.
I have finally reached a point where when I look in the mirror I am seeing something positive. The boobs, well they are a mess but there is a light at the end of the tunnel . The rest though, not too bad. Now that the swelling is basically gone, the DIEP flap is really like a tummy tuck. After 2 kids it is the tightest my abdomen has been in years. I have taken the opportunity to really focus on my diet and have exercised pretty consistently for 2 weeks. For the first time in a long time looking in the mirror is not depressing, (not like seeing fireworks either) but I see positive movement.
Continued focus, completion of the nest surgery, the future looks bright!