When I first started posting some ramblings on here, I never really thought anyone would read it.  It was more for me I guess to clear my own thoughts.  Then some friends and family took a look. Now I realize that people outside of my own small world have taken a peek yet I have really never introduced myself, well,  other than the whole mastectomy high risk thing that is.

So here we go.

My name is Christine and I live in New Jersey.  I am 40 years old and have lived in fear of developing breast cancer for years. I have 2 beautiful daughters and a husband that I love very much. Our anniversary is right around the corner, a month before the surgery so we should go out for a ridiculously expensive dinner.

Those around me would probably describe me as stubborn and intense but usually fair.  Also, passionate and  caring but will not be taken advantage of or pushed around.

I used to smile and laugh much more than I do now.  For years I have tried to make everyone happy but am coming to realize that is part of the “smile” issue.  I am now thinking about the movie “City Slickers“…I need to find my smile.

I consider myself to be a strong person but after my kids were born would find myself crying at mushy shows, movies and even commercials that never would have had that effect on me prior to their births. I can’t dance, sing, draw or play an instrument yet my girls find me to be the most creative person alive.

I am the fixer or things, taker of pictures and keeper of memories. (we go through a lot of glue).  I am a coach of many sports, driver of the mommy taxi and chef.

One of the biggest challenges I faced over the last few years, outside of this whole mastectomy thing, was the conversion of district manager at a large retailer to stay at home mom.  At one time, hundreds of people had to listen to what I said and in the blink of an eye I had children who dared to say “no”.

I consider spell check to be one of the greatest inventions ever since I can not spell worth a damn!

I was raised Catholic, went to 12 years of Catholic school and although for the most part non-practicing I still suffer from massive Catholic guilt.

I love my family with all of my heart and for the most part do not let others opinions derail me.

And after reading the last few line realize I like the phrase ” for the most part”.  I start sentences with the word “So” very often and am sure that english professors everywhere would have a field day with a red pen on my writings.

Lastly…I long for the day that I do not look in the mirror and see the person who is agonizingly waiting, counting the minutes until the mastectomy is over.

Oh..and thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts…I appreciate it!