My new addiction

Every time I turn on the television I grow more disillusioned.  Being from the Philadelphia area, the local news has continual updates on the Kermit Gosnell abortion murder trial. Murder, late term and live abortions, fetus’s found in boxes, this case has it all.  There was a commercial break today during a non news show that started with “a woman who claims she was instructed to snip the spinal cords of fetus’s born alive…..” I changed the channel.

A few short weeks ago it seemed that we were being prepared for imminent war with North Korea.  A daily barrage of missile launch warnings and dictator rants. Now that seems to be replaced with the Syrian war drums.

Terrorist attacks in Boston, Swat teams searching private homes, a totally, broken, dysfunctional and honestly in my opinion corrupt Washington all adds to the weight we all already carry with our own personnel lives and issues.

SO what is one to do? Well of course turning off the TV is an option but for a lover of the boob tube like myself that is not a feasible option.  Instead I have discovered a loved for Netflix streaming.  Who knew all of the gems that were on the air in early 2000.  Alias and In Plain Sight or some still on the air that I had never seen like Numbers or Psych.  We  have seen many of the family movies available and Madison has fallen in love with HR Puff and Stuff. 

I am sure to some making the conscious decision to tune out for a while is not smart.  To others things that I have mentioned in this post are new to them which could explain why our system is so broken. To me it is a must, my brain can only handle so much bad news and lately that is all there has been.  In the greater scheme of addictions, well it could be far worse!

Skip to the Lou, ouch!

White-daisy-blue-sky-bright-colors-20523941-1280-1024Yesterday morning started like many others in our house, wake the girl, get them ready for school and out the door to the bus stop.  With the nice weather and bright blue sky the kids were all hyper running around until he bus arrived.  As the bus pulls up the kids grab their bags, get the morning hugs and kiss and off they go.

Madison and I began to walk back to our house when she looks at me and says ever so innocently, “let’s skip”.  What a fun idea, the sky was blue, air warm and my beautiful baby wants to skip home.

Kind of how I felt straining a calf muscle skipping.
Kind of how I felt straining a calf muscle skipping.

I made it the length of about a house when a pain shot through my left calf.  I let out a small “ouch” and stopped.  It was then that my six-year-old looked at me with those caring, loving eyes and laughed.

Nasty kid! 🙂

In my head I can visualize myself doing many things.  And then reality sets in.  Getting old is a real B…….., well let’s just say I am not enjoying it very much!

My Life

Recently I have been debating what the next chapter of my life will hold.  My little one will be in first grade full-time starting in September.  I have had people ask if I was going to get a real job.  It had started to bring me down a bit.

I love standing at the bus stop waving to the girls as they head off to school. I love having the opportunity to give a hug and kiss as they step onto the bus.  I look forward to the stories as soon as they get off the bus after a busy day of learning.  I am the one to sit with my girls while they do homework and I am the one to answer the questions that arise from that homework.

We of course could be better off financially if I went back to work,  that is assuming I could even find a job.   I love my life, my husband and my girls.  I am sick and tired of feeling like I need to apologize for wanting to take care of my family.  I do the laundry, I clean our home.  I am the taxi service for karate, CCD and soccer.  I handle all medical and dental appointments. I ensure that my ever-growing girls have clothes that fit and food on the table.

I want to be present. I remember track meets with my friends parents wishing I could see my mother rooting for me.  I remember wishing just once.

My job keeps me pretty busy, and I love every minute of it! I will apologize to no one for wanting to continue to do it.