Tag: Health

Stress?!

The rains have finally started..much needed.  The weather has called for it all week but instead just heat and sun.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the nice weather but once in a while a good rain is needed!

I have begun to shift into preparation mode.  Went shopping bought some “recuperation outfits”.  A “mom” robe I have termed it because it looks way too much like what my mother worn for years.  It has a big zipper in the front and short sleeve so easy access.  Do what you have to do I guess.  Also bought some men’s tank tops…read on someone’s blog that post mastectomy  that they were easy to get into and pin the drains to.  I guess we should stop here for a moment for the mental image of that outfit….yikes!

As we get closer, people who know what is happening want to talk to me about the surgery. I on the other hand do not want to discuss it.  I am not sure why…I am solid in my decision and it is always on my mind but I just do not want to talk about it!  I am sure that I come across as short or rude which is not intended.  I don’t know, guess it is my thing.

Tomorrow night is date night.  Should be fun.  Going to a restaurant that we have never been to..highly rated.  It will be good to get away for a few hours!  Been a long few weeks…not sleeping well, mind racing.  I am SOOOO ready to be through the surgery!

My Upcoming Surgery and Surgical Team

So on July 2 I need to arrive at Cooper University Hospital by 5am for a scheduled 7 am surgery.  The Bilateral Prophylactic Mastectomy and DIEP Flap Reconstruction  is said to last between 10-14 hours.  I am told I will possibly then spend a few days in ICU followed by a few more in normal recovery.  Dr. Umur Atabek is the  surgeon performing the actual mastectomy.He is same surgeon who has performed each of the biopsy surgeries dating back to 1994.  The reconstruction will be performed by Dr. Yuan Y. Liu and assisted by Dr. Joseph Tamburrino.

I guess I should be jotting down some questions about what after looks like.  Rehab? How long before I can drive…sounds funny I am about to remove a large (and they are rather large) part of my body and all I can think about is when I can drive.  I am not a patient person.  I do not like to ask for help.  The recovery could be an interesting time for me.  Guess we will take it day by day like everything else.

Today I am grateful for:

  • Madison’s stomach ache this morning being nothing more than I minor belly ache
  • 4 ducks who landed in our pool last night (it was a sight to be seen!)
  • Hearing I love you Mommy from both as I put them to bed

My dog, solar panels and other totally unrelated items

I am very unfocused.  Could not sleep last night or for several nights before that.  Since I was younger I would have these long periods of sleeplessness.  Won’t call it insomnia because I do eventually doze off.

What is keeping me awake?

I guess we can start with the obvious and the fact that I am about to lop off a portion of my body that I have had since my teen years…much larger and more complicated of course since my kids were born.

But that is not it.  I have a beautiful 3-year-old Labrador retriever who has already had one knee surgery.  She walks with a terrible limp sometimes unable to get up from a laying position.  We are faced with the reality that she has further knee and hip issues.  There is only so much money for medical needs in this family.  She is now on pain pills 2 times a day but things do not look good.

So..dramatic subject change takes me next to a meeting we had last night.  I am no Al Gore but am trying to make better energy decisions.  When we replaced our heater we went with a 95% efficient one for a few extra dollars.  So last night we had a meeting with some solar folks.  WOW…I really had no clue.  A massive (and I mean massive) initial payout of cash will result in just a 25% reduction in our electric bill.  No more govt programs because they realize they flooded the market….so when I laugh uncontrollably I am supposed to  feel guilty as I plug my laptop in right?

Then again back to the surgery, been thinking about the after surgery things.  Getting myself prepared. Waking up in Intensive care unable to see my girls. The first time I will look in the mirror after mastectomy. Showering with the drains…living with the drains.  Swelling and pain ugh.  Having to put a bra on at some point. Patience  is not a virtue I tend to exhibit, how long before I can be fully up and around?

And just as disjointed as this all reads is how it swirls around in my head.