Tag: mastectomy

What a day

What a morning.  As I continue my party to the operating room agenda, I had a big reality check this morning…I am not a young party animal anymore!  We had friends over last evening and had a great time as did the kids.  They watched movies and played all night in the basement until one by one they all fell asleep. MY mix of B-52’s and beer made for an extremely rough morning the likes of which I don’t think I have seen since college…nor do I plan on repeating any time soon!  It was a great time though!

Happy Fathers day to my husband.  The kids have kept him busy all day washing the car then reading together under the willow tree.  Very cute!  Then wrapped up the afternoon going for ice cream…for dinner.  Not an activity I would normally approve of but hey..guess once in a while it can’t hurt.

I did finally talk to the girls today.  I did not tell them more than they really needed to know.  I stressed that I was not sick and by doing this would not get sick.  They reacted according to their normal personalities..Madison started talking loud and fast and running up and down the hall way between questions.  I will need to keep an eye on her.  It is still processing in her little 5-year-old brain.  She did tell me that she did not want to visit me in the hospital because of what happened last year.  She said it scared her and she did not want to go back.  I told her that I fully understood.

Megan on the other hand is my worrier .  She tried to be tough until I told her that it was alright to tell me what she was thinking.  Then the tears came.  Lots of hugs between questions.  She seems fine now.  I guess we will take it day by day.

We are now just 2 weeks away from the mastectomy.  Wow..almost hard to wrap my head around.  After a year of biopsy, scans, appointments and worry we are almost there.  Finally!  I can not wait until it is over!

Graduation Day

Today was graduation day from Pre-K for my baby.  Where has the time gone?  Starting next year both girls will head to the bus stop. No more early trips to the preschool.  We have been there for 4 years between both girls so walking out the door today felt strange.  I have to face reality, my girls are growing up…I don’t have to like the idea!

I am so proud of both of them.  Megan’s last report card from second grade was perfect. She is reading on a 5th grade level and corrects my grammar.  Madison is beginning to read and has a wonderful grasp of basic math. They both make me smile from ear to ear!

This day also brings closer my conversation with them.  I wanted to wait until they were out of school.  Well…no more excuses!

The glass is half full

I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon today.  It went very well.  My blood pressure is back in line 120/80!!  Can’t beat that.  So the normal questions started the appoint including my weight.  I had to admit to putting on a few pounds since we had last meet.  To my surprise he was actually somewhat pleased (maybe I exaggerate a bit, he at least was not at all upset) by this news.  Seems he plans on using most of what I have in the tummy now!  When the doctor was about to finish up he asked if I had any last questions.  So I asked, “when we are finished I will look like a Barbie right?” He laughed and replied, that he could not promise that but that the large boobs I was uncomfortable with would be smaller and that “my tummy  would be a lot flatter”.  Flat stomach…WOOT!  I was 145 pounds and a C-cup before having my girls.  Now I am no where close to 145 and the cup size has multiple letters.  I could be sad about the surgery…but why in the hell would I do that?  I am taking steps to prevent cancer, I am healthy, I worked very hard last year to lose 30 pounds and now will have a little surgical assistance to help that process along. The glass is half full!

This surgery has really done a lot for my outlook on things.  I always look at people in one of two categories…glass is half full folks or the glass is half empty.  The glass is half empty are always the victims, always looking to blame someone or some thing for the misfortunes in their lives.  They often live in the past and make lots of excuses for why they seem “stuck” in certain situations.  They lash out at everyone else when in reality they should look in a mirror and lash out at themselves.

Glass is half full on the other hand laugh in the face of adversity, run through walls and take that “no one will stand in my way” type of attitude.  Prior to a year ago when this all started I kind of floated somewhere in the middle.  I allowed myself to be easily pulled into others drama. I would often feel down about myself  and the decisions I was making and allowed other people’s opinions to cloud my own. This situation has really helped open my eyes up to what is really important. If other want to live in the past, point fingers and lash out so be it but no longer will I allow myself to be pulled down.

Who would have thought preparing for a mastectomy would have done so much for me overall as a person?